- memories of mine -

15/3

2011-03-16T11:20:00.003+08:00

Recently, you've changed your attitude towards me,I know partially it's my fault that I am making you feel this way, I am really sorry. I know what i did before is irritating and wrong, but I really do wish that you would know that in my heart, i really do still care for you, I still love you and want to be there for you.

We've been through tough times, but I believe that this is another phrase in our relationship that we can pull it through.

Give me another chance. Please. I am still trying to change for the better. Trust me.

I love you.

120111 - Dedication to You~

2011-01-12T01:16:00.003+08:00

Well, i missed the chance to post this particular dedication on 11011, was busy doing research for my typeface till i forgotten the time. Yikes! But nevertheless, i am gonna post this up.

Meeting You has been a blessing in disguise.

You are a really unique individual that brought me hope.

Be it in the aspects of work or relationship.

It is You,

that made me realized that the Power of Love do make wonders!

It is You,

that make me strive for the Best always!

If I could give the World to You,

I would do so, willingly.

For You,

are the angel in my life,

the candle that brought light into my life.

For You,

I am willing to go the distance!

Though there might be ups and downs in the long road ahead of Us,

but I will be there to hold Your hand,

and I hope that We be able to spend go through it together.

I will try to be a good boyfriend,

but if i ever do minor errors, do forgive me?

Thank You for accepting me into Your life.

I Love You

我爱你

Love, CJ

Deep thoughts

2011-01-06T17:11:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I will ask myself, am i really meant to go through Graphic Design.
Or should i change my major into something more minor.

Being placed in class G, made me realized that, my class might be one that is in the middle of Graphic and Image, which kinda made me feel really down all of a sudden. Haiz. Just hope that it is not the case.

Without a doubt, i would be missing my classmates of 5A alot! They are a group of caring and really fun to be classmates! Thank you for accepting me into your circle for the first half of my academic year in 2010 in LASALLE. Though we are now separated and going to our separate classes, but fear not! At least, we be meeting each other during lectures and LIVE projects! Let's have a class gathering again!

Look ahead CJ! it's a brighter tomorrow.

06012011

2011-01-06T17:09:00.002+08:00

Well the new class list is already out! am in the same class as Kartika and Terence! Class G

Not too bad acutally, kinda like the new timetable, just a minor set back would be that i am more of a morning person and would really like to have an early start and end my class early.

However, it's a new class and a new beginning. Just concentrate on the work and it will be fine. :)

PS: Nicholas and Ruth are in Class A

030111

2011-01-03T14:05:00.002+08:00

First post of the New Year!! :)

Though it's abit late but still,

Happy New Year!

May the year of 2011,

bring each and everyone one of you,

much joy, health and wealth.

Ok,

it's time to update alittle on my current doings.

Well,

i've already lived up to one of my new year resolution:

- Going clubbing. :P

Thus,

i shed my goody two shoes look on New Year's day!

Went to PLAY, with the special one and a group of friends.

However,

due to the damn tonsilitis, am not able to drink any alcholol that night.

Feels like it's a big waste to not drink in a club, but nevertheless, i did have fun.

Although,

i realized i am really not a dancing person.

------------------------------------------------

Well, there's still a week left before the hectic life begins in LASALLE again.

So am gonna enjoy it as much as possible!

-------------------------------------------------

Recently,

i am rekindling with some old movies.

Today, am watching Homerun.

A film directed by the famed Singaporean director, Jack Neo.

The story is talking about the hardships of a family back in the days just after the Independance.

Well, honestly speaking, the movie is really touching

but i did not teared up or anything unlike the movie, I am not Stupid.

However,

while listening to the theme song of the movie:

拥有

by Xu Mei Xian

My tears formed instantly and it came down real fast.

Songs that were sung by Xu Mei Xian,

never failed to make me teared up,

more over, feeling amazed at the voice of this lady!

--------------------------------------------------

Well, that's all for now.

Till then, take care.

21122010

2010-12-21T22:12:00.002+08:00

Well nothing much to do during my break except to clear my room alittle and chit chat. However, i think i manage to break a new record as of today!

I am finishing Avatar: The Last Airblender cartoon series all in one day! :)

20122010

2010-12-20T00:13:00.002+08:00

This song has been playing in my head for a long, really long, time. Since 2002, when I'm not Stupid is premiered on the shores of Malaysia.

To cut things short, this movie is, basically, talking about how Singaporean kids struggle to meet their parents' expectation, be it obedience or studies. This is also the first film where Shawn Lee and Joshua Ang were discovered to be future artistes. Well, let's get back to the song.

This song was sung by 許美嫻.

Titled, 內疚.

It is actually a really short song that was played when Guo Ping's mum, Mrs Liu, played by Xiang Yun, was admitted to the hospital due to blood cancer and Guo Ping, played by Shawn Lee, brought back his year end results to her side. Throughout the movie, you will be able to see how Guo Ping struggled to achieve the results that his mother wanted him to, so when it comes to this scene, it was a touching one as eventhough Guo Ping did not manage to get the results his mother wanted him to, Mrs Liu finally accepted the fact that her son had, indeed, tried his very best and still cannot achieve the marks she desired for.

A really touching scene on the understanding between a Mother and her Son.

The lyrics were made even more meaningful to this beautiful scene.

不斷的摸索自己企圖改變一些歎息

我知道你對我的期許是將來眼光的抵禦

你今日無助的詞句都帶著明日的訊息

我知道你對我的心意而我就是有心無力

我還有什麼可以給你，我不斷的問自己。

我不斷的想，不斷的在找尋。。。。。。

我知道你一直都辛苦為我默默地付出

就算流淚也不承認你哭我是身在福中不知福

所以我用盡我的全部來告訴你我沒有認輸

還有什麼可以給你我的爹娘我的父母

In short, what the lyric sung about was the struggling of a child on trying to achieve what his/her mother wanted him/her to get, however, no matter how hard he/she tried he/she still can't get it, even though he/she understands what his/her parents go through and hoped for but still he/she can't achieve that goal as he/she really did tried his/her very best and it is still an average mark.

===============================================================

This song never fails to bring tears to my eyes, irregardless how many times i have heard it.

It just touched my heart in many aspects and i wish that it will touch your hearts as well. :)

Enjoy~

18122010

2010-12-18T21:31:00.002+08:00

Just had a new haircut today at CLIPS, Klang, in preparation for

my grandpa's birthday celebration on 25th December, yes it's on christmas night.

So far the workload and duty that i was asked to handle and execute made me feel that i am actually capable of doing things aside from being a graphic designer.

I was telling a friend the other day that i am the graphic designer/ image consultant/ co-event planner/ part receptionist for this particular event.

On a side note, i feel that the new hairstyle somehow made me look alittle too goody two shoes? agree?

see for yourselves.

16122010

2010-12-16T16:39:00.003+08:00

this is what happens when a designer is bored. XP~

Though i promised that i will update my bloggie during my term break this time around, but i think have failed miserably. The only muse that i did was to snap random images of myself, man speaking of narcism, much.

Well much have happened over the course of time, especially life in SG and now break in KL.

Will update soon~

Promise. :)

tired

2010-10-31T11:14:00.002+08:00

just then did i realized that i am a fool from the beginning, to believe that you are willing to love me unconditionally, willing to hold my hand and cross this path together, u said u wanted to settle down with me, what happen to that now? is it all just a saying? or is it something in me that made u hate me instead of appreciating me.

i am just too naive. YES! i am really naive. i shouldn't have had any thoughts that the one that is standing in front of me now will be taking me away and be with me for a long term. Just when u said u liked me and i warmed up to u, u drifted away. My calls went unanswered, my text went unreplied. What is it that i have done wrong that made u wanted to drift away from me? can u please let me know?

all i want now is to seriously settle down. i am tired of the love game and its many entity. i am exhausted, i really am. Each morning, i would wish for that special someone to hug me or greet me, for once, feel pampered for a change but i think this is never meant to be. Like what a friend once told me, Here it is really hard for you to find True Love.

all i can do is just laugh and let it be now. i guess, i am really not meant to have love or being loved. i love myself and thats it. no others. i waited and hoped but nothing will change for i am the lonesome one.

And more Updates

2010-10-30T20:25:00.003+08:00

Here i am trying to blog something, when tears are just flowing down my eyes. It has been like this for the past three days. First i was diagnosed with a swelling tonsils hence an outburst of fever and cold shivers, secondly i was left literally idea-less.

All of a sudden, it seems that my ideas went down the drain and was flushed out into the sea or tossed into the open air. i was left with literally no inspirations or motivation to keep moving on. Eventhough i forced myself to work on something but i don't feel the passion for it nor do i feel a piece of artwork has life in it, as quoted from Apurva, whom constantly reminds me that my artwork back then, in Raffles, is filled with passion and a certain interest in it that kept others captivated.

Was it because i came to SG that made me lost all inspirations? or was it something else that is pondering me? i don't know. Honestly, i feel that i suddenly lost the ability to think for myself and to feel the interest that usually make me excited anymore.

i realized that i break down very easily nowadays, be it Assignment-wise or Relation-wise. Not to mention that i have many First in SG, those things that i told myself i would never ever do, i suddenly find myself in it and, awkwardly, feeling nice about it. Also, i suddenly crave the company of my Raffles classmates alot! i would remember the times when we would just randomly scream at each other's face for fun or the infamous hangout place, the canteen. :) those are good times.

i know i haven't been able to update much on my SG life, but it is and will be, i believe an exciting journey, that is awaiting me.

Something to add on, i also crave something else, the feeling of being loved and appreciated. i often feel that i m the one giving and not receiving anything in return, well if u are in love u cant really say if u are in a give and take situation, it is really wrong to say that because it will hurt ur partner, but seriously i do feel that i m in need of some pamper and love that i wasn't given. For my past relationships, i feel that i have been the one giving and giving till an extend that i can't even have my own time and what's more, a sense of my own self. argh..

Well, it's all in the past now, i need to learn to live with new things and embrace new environment. i told myself before that i will make a stand in SG maybe the ground is already hard but i will find some way to crack it and make a hole in it. A hole would be fine.

i should stay together for the sake of my grades and assessments.

Updates

2010-10-22T08:49:00.002+08:00

Hello~! Well this blog has been practically dead for a long long time but rest assure that the blogger is still safe and very much alive. It's only that he is so worked up over so many things for the past few months leading up to today!

Oya, seriously considering to rearrange my entire blog to have a new look to it. Most likely i will do a quick update about the things that happened in Singapore. A very fine city indeed. :)

A small hint: there might be a new bloggie up soon. stay tune?

Of YOG and the new life in Singapore

2010-08-14T21:37:00.003+08:00

The YOG is here!!! AH!!! am so hype and thrill about it, well basically i am always hype about the Olympic games, especially the openings..haha i am weird..

Though i am not a Singaporean but i am really proud of Singapore, for She, brought the fame and faith that an Asian country, and being nicknamed the Little Red Dot, Singapore, of all countries won the chance to host the

FIRST YOUTH OLYMPICS GAMES!!!!

Imagine the glory and the joy that each and every Singaporean feels when the news kicked in! My godness, yes i am sad that Malaysia was not selected but i am really pleased that the commitee chose Singapore for it. It's a choice well done.

GO SINGAPORE!!

not to mention, i am in Singapore already to continue my studies in Graphic Design. I will update more again in the time to come but i have to watch the Opening now..ciaoz!!^^

I Once Had a Dream...

2010-06-02T09:04:00.002+08:00

[I Once Had a Dream...]

That i will be able to publish my own book in the near future.
That i will be as famous as J.K. Rowling.

That i will be a singer in the near future.

That i will be able to stand on stage.

That i will be a succesful person in Life.

That i will be able to find someone to give my undividing attention.
That i am able to find someone i love.
That the person i loved, will love me back as much.

-However, these are all dreams and its back to Reality soon-

时光飞速

2010-06-02T08:41:00.002+08:00

不知不觉地，我在公司做了，大约1月半了，有点难以相信。
时光真的是过得太快了！！
哈哈，不是说我不想快点完成Internship，但是我冒冒然却有那种感觉好像

[我的屁股都还没做暖，就要走咯？]

话说来，当我刚进来时，我得确每一天都和Suzen 啊，Emily啊，一样，做到大约8-9点才回家，感觉上就好像Permanent Staff似的，不像Intern。

我的朋友们也问我为什么要天天做得那么夜，
我都是一句说道，‘我是来学习的，有工，我一定要做完才回。’

更好笑的事，有一两次，Ervie和Flo,都会叫我早点回家，别做得太夜。
在这里，虽然工作是忙了些，但是我现在才发现：
原来忙中我真得学了很多！
原来听到顾客喜欢我们的设计，心中还是有些安慰。
原来我是工作狂！！

哈哈。。。

说实话，我真的是病态工作狂，
我可以为了一份工作，不去吃午餐，不回家睡，宁可在公司睡！
你说现在的我是不是病得很严重？
我很难想像我未来会是如何？
会不会和现在一样？还是变本加厉？

啊，不写了，该做工了。。

Rants and What's not

2010-05-27T16:27:00.002+08:00

Well, here i am blogging about something at 427pm in the office. Just to show the world that my brain is currently, literally, dead and my stomach is having a mind of its own in a bad way. Toilet breaks anyone??

Not to mention, i have once again fall in love with a particular movie that actually made me tear up everytime i watched it. To date, its 5 times and still counting. This movie is none other than [The Love of Siam]. It's actually a movie about how two boy, who were childhood friends that got separated and then reunited while they are about the age of 16. They fell in love with one another but due to peer pressure and all, one party decided to be frank with the other.

However, this is not why this movie is highly anticipated in many countries that were showed. It is because this movie touches on many aspect of relationships. For example, the love segment, the family segment, the friendship segment and many more. This movie is like a rojak of all these relationships.

As i was telling a close friend the other day, i realised how similar my current situation is to Mew, one of the boys in the show. i won't go further as i don't want to review too much but i really do understand what Mew might felt and it was really not a good feeling to begin with. It's tough but i believed in the end he will get through it, hopefully i will do too.

Gosh, so much ranting..

entry 100525

2010-05-25T17:58:00.002+08:00

[放弃了这一个，等待着下一个]

这句话说得好，但是还需要我等待多久？

为什么？

有时我真得很累了，好像好好的休息，有时还想过就那样结束所有。

说得容易，做是很难的。

一个个都是好像在玩似的，为什么我把我的感情放下去呢？

是不是我太天真？

是不是我太傻了？

是不是我不值得去寻找？

到底是为什么呢？！

累了，我真得很累了。

放过我吧。

[Once you given up, why not wait for the Next One to appear?]

this verse has been said over and over, well, undoubtedly it's a good one, but how long more should i be waiting?

why?

i felt i have been asking why so many times that i lost count of it.

why did i put my true feelings in when it seems like each and everyone of them are like playing me out?

why so?

could it be that i am too naive?

could it be that i am stupid?

could it be that i am not worthy of seeking that special One?

WHY?

i am really tired already, please just let go of me.

update in mere minutes.

2010-03-28T09:33:00.002+08:00

well, i thought to make up with the absence of myself from the blog line, i would update twice! and so i was damned to keep pressing the HELP button, so sue me for being and idiot with clumsy fingers.

I lost count of the time when i call myself a joker, idiot, a dum-dum, a brat and other craps, but i believe that i have matured over time and everytime when i call myself either of those, i am degrading myself in some way or another. No idea why am i doing that to myself but sometimes i feel that one should be more humble at times and not be a super large Vogue with you as the beautiful model on the cover page and acting cute or vain or whatever suits you.

Life as i recalled has never been better. There are times when i wished that a lightning can just struck me and let me die on the spot when i was sitting by the verandah of my house, or the huge tree might just snapped and a huge branch will whacked me in the head and i am being hospitalised for the rest of my life, well, i am grateful that none of those ever happened but somehow i always felt that if one of those unpleasant things do happen to me, the most i can do is sit and stone for the rest of my ill-fated life.

For i am a buddhist, therefore i do not believe in the concept of an Almighty deep within the sheets of cloud, but sometimes i would like to believe that miracles in many forms do appear. Remembering an experience that came close to embrace the divine would be the time when i was in National Service. Cut things short, the incident was about my prayer book not being drenched wet at all dispite being submerged in the water for a period of time, don't ask me but that is just amazing!

So many things have occured in the past few months before i even updated this place. Many will whine over the countless status updates from me that they received over a course of 2 minutes or an hour, note Ken! I think i should really get a twitter but somehow, twitter is so not my cup of tea, unless someone like Apurva suddenly took charge of my life and snap me out of my trance of the countless updates that spell emo emo emo. Well, come to think of it, it would be fun to have your life paved out in front of you for once and not worry about anything but just stay alive to complete the course of life.

Funny, how things are~

oh my goodness..

2010-03-28T09:19:00.002+08:00

Just like what the title implies. Oh My Goodness! It's been soo damn freaking extraordinary long that i last updated my blog, honestly speaking, i started the wonder whether the purpose of this blog is still necessary.

Well enough crap and bullshiting already, there have been many ups and downs in my life so far, i am refering to the event when my dear Indesign crashed and i had to redo a portfolio in less than 7 hours or the time when i almost broke down over the comments that came from my final that might not work, good times huh? You can't deny the existence of these feelings when you realise that it is almost time that you move on in life. Why so you might ask, well this is because, yours truly has finally graduated from Raffles International College in a birthday cake headgear as his graduation suit~! Interesting huh? for those who are interested in the hilarious and funny headgear can look up the 'mukabuku', if you know what that is.

On the other hand, i just come to realise that i am an idiot in the game of pairs. Being a joker in the court of justice could be one thing but being a sole audience in a badly maintained court of love is not really a good omen, i reckon? Hm, somehow i am still missing you badly and wishing that you can reply me or let me know what is going on though. You know who you are~

Oh ya, come april, i will be joining a hunt, anyone interested to join me? feel free to sign up though.

Till then, follow me on my mukabuku is the fastest way to keep track whether i am being hit by a lorry or i just tripped and fell into a lake and unfortunately drown..

Is SICK~

2009-10-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

damn..
was sick for so many days..really hate the feeling..
no mood..
no inspiration...
T.T...
hate it!!!

131009

2009-10-13T17:38:00.002+08:00

"有时在多不满，不开心，即使有泪也要往肚子里吭"

有时人之常情，
难免容易显露出来。

男人大丈夫，流血不流泪。
顶天立地，挺起胸膛来。

=再难的事，我都可以去应付=
:D

It's raining and i can't sleep~

2009-10-09T16:22:00.000+08:00

Well it is really raining and i just can't freakin' take a short nap, wonder why..hm...
anywayz, for those that follow this bloggie here, which i doubt many will, might have noticed that i have been away since like late sept? and havent been updating?!

well, to say the truth, Yes! i haven't been updating and, to say another cruel,blunt fact, i was LAZY!!!haha...

anywayz, i am suppose to be doing my work for SDS and not to mention, school work now but i decided to just let it go for another few hours and rush like a mad horse AGAIN..lolz..

just to pop by and say hello! and note i am still alive, and will update fully later..ciaoz

UPDATE!

2009-08-31T22:57:00.002+08:00

omigosh~
time flies so freaking fast this term especially! never even realised that it is almost the end of term with just 3 more weeks to go till submission date..O.O

till date, i still have D's Princess and the Pea drawing, remaining one poster design for his class, F's 12 designs which i still have 3 more to go, and informations too!! A's magazine, praying really hard that he will approve all of my pages' layouts and last but not least, W's Swift's webbie..O.O

STRESS!!!!

especially webbie, my god, since day one when i learnt Flash, it has never been my cup of tea so to say because i just don't have the damn patience to sit down in front of the computer and wait frame by frame...

the other assignments are still manageable, preferable D's work because it is more hands on..and i realised one thing very obvious! i am drawing throughout this term! drawing children illustrations here and there..this term is full of pencil sketches and redrawings..

i pray hard that my work i have done so far will be approved, pretty please? i just want an early start to my holiday thats all...

PS: will be going to Melaka for the holidays ^^v

To go or not to?

2009-08-12T12:46:00.003+08:00

should i go? or should i not?

i don't feel like going anywhere soon but then of late, my parents have been going on about 'shipping' me off to Aussie, which till date i still don't find appealing, i feel i still need a longer time to make this major decision seeing that i made a few mistakes of late.

i truly believe that now isn't the right time to talk about all this degree overseas and all. not to mention that no matter how much i tried to grasp my own timetable back, it just seems to float away again, again and AGAIN! my goodness, that's bad.

Uncondition

2009-08-07T22:45:00.002+08:00

爱是一种需要，却不一定要得到，

Love is a necessity, but it is really not a must to have it,

只要你觉得快乐就好，梦会温热眼角，

If only you feel happy about the decision, but in dreams tears might still fall

让回忆像水草般缠绕，却总能让人勇敢不少，

Let those memories surround you in a tight knit, however with this, you are stronger.

爱是一种需要，聚散却没办法预料，

Love is a necessity, whenever will we be together or apart, we will never know,

只能在心里做个记号，直到哪天遇到，

Why not just make a mark in your heart, if in future we do meet,

还会是同样的味道，下雨也好驱风也好，

It will still be the same feeling, no matter what happens,

心想着就能不会难熬

Even if you think about it, it will never be that hurtful.

This is part of lyrics i find it really meaningful. It talks about unconditional love for someone. If you are willing to let that someone,whom you loved deeply,seek his/her happiness in life even if their future partner is not you, and be there to cheer for him/ her, it is truly a wonderful and magical energy.

And yes, it do hurts at times but if you are willing to endure it to ensure that someone leads a happy life, are you willing to do so?

Your future depends on your decisions now

2009-08-01T10:34:00.003+08:00

Well, it's high time i blog in english rather than in chinese *insert cue for Jiam's "It's about TIME!"*, much has changed since the day the start of term till now, 1 month has already gone and i am still counting the days to my holiday, lolz, who doesn't want a vacation.

This term is one of those terms in Raffles that is really stress and demotivating. Not one but a few of us 6.1s are screaming the workload eventhough it's only a month into the term. Not to mention that we are seniors already! The batch 6.1 seems so high up in the Raffles hierachy. We strived hard for 5 terms already and this term seems abit demotivating, not sure why but most of us really do feel so.

Last term's holiday was a blast, thats all i can tell you. I had an early break as my assignments were done way way early and i managed for ONCE in my entire time in Raffles to have a stress/assignment free two weeks break! I took on a small project during the holidays and the deathline is due next week and my layouts are not even done yet! gosh!! but aside from that, i really do have a wonderful time working on this mini-project and having a freaking good time during my holidays.

Then comes the start of term 6.1, well, maybe it's because of the first week's blues, my 1st assignments are all a FLUNK! yes you heard me! FLUNK! omigosh, it's really depressing because i definately know i can do so much better. Especially the look on F's face during my presentation, it was agonizing, i don't know about my classmates but i can definately sense the dissapointment in her look when she saw my final work. However, i gave my word to her that i will definately do a better job for my finals and this time i mean it!

On the other hand, my lifestyle is changing nowadays. I am trying to be more 'independant' ,so to say, because i wanted a more hands on life. It's kinda tough to do so when you are stuck at home, but nevertheless i am now in charged of my own things: laundry, etc., which i am really enjoying it very much!

One thing different about this term is that, i can really sense the caring feeling amongst us 6.1s, maybe not all but a few. Week one back in Raffles was suddenly a hard time for me because the subjects were, well TOUGH! It was then you really see true friends. They are friends that are willing to spend time to listen to your woes and pains, they are friends that is always willing to give a helping hand in your assignment when they see you struggling with it.

These few days, my parents have been really on about the topic of me going abroad to studies, i don't know what made them all enthu about this but i somehow don't find it comfortable. I have barely finish my Adv. Diploma here in KL and they are already telling me about life abroad. Well, we've been through this conversation back when i was in 3.1 and i just don't know why i am taking this topic offensively, maybe it's because i am facing my own assignment crisis here and there they are talking about life overseas. But one thing's for sure, i am standing firm on my decision that i will decide to stay or not to stay when the time is right!

It now dawns to me that my future is really depending on my current decisions now and i hope that i have made the right decisions in prior time so that i will never regret it at the end of time.

I am rekindling the flame that gone out in me. I am striving for a better performance. I will be the one deciding my own fate and future~

无常

2009-07-28T18:38:00.002+08:00

太阳在猛烈，都需要下山。

月亮也会有阴晴圆缺。

人生

无常

佛家道理，常说到无常。

无常，

只得是生老病死。

事实常常在变化，一有机会就得紧紧地握住，

不是随便放开，因为机会只有一次，走了就不会回来。

有机会做自己喜欢的东西，

好好珍惜，

努力！

珍惜~

每一刻，

因为人生无常，事事都在变化。

New term!

2009-07-15T20:47:00.003+08:00

6.1..

sounds so old and high up in RIC.

i can still remember vividly last year April, when i step in the grounds of RIC, i was still so naive and ignorant about things around me.i remember the nervousness that engulfed me when i entered my first class, Design Principle.

Coming back to reality,nothing beats the relaxing feeling as,believe me, RIC peeps rarely have time to really relax and take things easy when assignments come flooding onto our desks. Time is really a joker, one year passed and look at me. Haha, i am still the same old self with no changes. Except that i have already spent 5 terms in RIC and still counting.

Assuming that i be graduating next March, definately i will feel down and missing RIC, see if you believe, but i have a strong feelings for places i have been. damn, what an emo post this turns out to be...lolz...was thinking for a more nostalgia post but never mind.

6.1's work are already killing me!! HELP!!!!!!

灵感

2009-07-15T20:26:00.004+08:00

我问燕子，

可否把我的心声带到那里。

燕子说：

“该说的，你就自己说；该做的，你就自己做”

叭嗒的，

燕子就飞走了。

我遥望着无边无界的蓝天

若我是只燕子，我现在可以理自壮壮的飞翔吗？

若我是只燕子，我可以抛弃所有，而飞向天空吗？

若我是只燕子，我会向那遥远的大地，勇敢的飞吗？

我想我不会

因为

无论燕子飞的多远，多高

最终还是会回到它温暖的家。

我放开我的视线，

看着天空，

终于

有灵感！

thank you

2009-07-08T18:38:00.002+08:00

Thank you for giving me a wonderful time during the term holiday.
i enjoy every moment of it, especially when that someone is always bubbly and happy-go-lucky...

well, i have to admit that there are times when i threw tanturms at you or just being childish with you, for those times when i made you uncomfortable or feeling that you wanna "box" me, i wish to say i am sorry...

nevertheless, this holiday has been the greatest since i entered my uni...i really do hope that in the future, we can have a blast together!!haha

not to forget, you taught me how to wash my clothes manually again!!haha~

thank you,ah di!!

She is the Jewel of Tibet

2009-06-09T20:00:00.002+08:00

on the bright side of the whole pc incident, was that i am once again addicted to songs! More accurately is the "Jewel of Tibet" musical, which songs i once played in the early morning of adv pagelayout and yuemun said it sounded like opera...lolz...

i was hooked onto this particular musical because of its historical figure, Princess Wen Cheng, and the fact that i watched the musical live last year.

it was only of recent that i purchased the cd along with books and so much more at the final act of "Prince Siddhartha" musical in Istana Budaya. i think i was in heaven, what with the sounds of Buddhist hymns and books!

BOOKS! i tell you are my favourites, especially those that, when i taken favor of, i will hook onto it like life and death, i even remember when i purposely saved up enough cash and headed back to that same bookshop after a year later to hunt for the book but returned, not empty handed but, buying another book as that previous one was sold out...sad times...

well, this musical is mesmerizing, it was really a eye opener for most who think that a local production can never be as of that standard. though admittedly the musics wasn't really catchy after the live performance but then i was reminded of this when i read a book that talks about China.

summing the entire affair up, i am now humming the songs of the musical and probably jiam will be scream soon if she hears the same old song playing in my 15 year old satria...lolz..

so till then ciaoz...

and YES! i am paranoid...

2009-06-09T19:53:00.002+08:00

well creating its own record in my time of laptop and internet browsing, i was caught up with some computer junkies that turned out to be bugs, hiding within the lushy forest of my acer...god damn it! this bug was removed from its hidy with the software and praying hard it never will return to haunt my storage area that i relied on.

i am paranoid so i had to call someone and hogged on the house phone for 40 minutes and tell her my other dilemmas, which i believe might be an earsore for her.

"hey *insert cue name*, have you hear of this____*insert name of spyware/virus*, do you think it will remain here after i deleted it via anti spyware?"

ah, the rantings and scary moments...damn it..

i did not browse any X rated sites neither do i browse rubbish sites that i should not, i just logged on to friendster! and something like this turned up...gosh! i seem to be strucking the worst of pc lucks here...

pray that it will never appears again!!!

memories

2009-05-27T10:03:00.003+08:00

a memory that is meant to happen

on a blissful day, two brothers went fishing by the river

for you, my brother.

ZOMG

2009-05-26T11:02:00.002+08:00

well, nothing much happened lately. Life has been tough and toughier in RDI because as you progress higher up, the coursework get challenging and lecturers' demands is getting higher and higher...but aside from that, i am still quite happy with the daily life.

not to mention, the computer phobia hasnt actually subsided...which means that if there are any lagging while doing my work, i will freak out and go berserk! then slowly going back to my regular self. stress konon!

well, till then, stay tuned...lolz

2009-04-10T19:29:00.001+08:00

ok...please spare me the lecture and all.
my absent from the internet,msn and mainly, my blog, during my holidays
is because i suddenly developed a FEAR of using computer.

maybe that's the side effect of using and staring too much at it last term.

anywayz, i try to get my stuff up ASAP, so for the time being please do bear with the
deadness of the blog...

到。走

2009-03-06T20:12:00.002+08:00

我到了天涯海角等你，
却遇不见你。

我到了。。。
可是你还没到。。。

凌晨的寂寞，
无人了解。

为我在草地上，
遥望着天空。

一个人，
空档的心。

满天的云，
冷落的我。

该走了。

好的。

歇

2009-01-28T20:13:00.002+08:00

我无力了。。。

该放弃吗？
该放开吗？

走的话，就一了了之。
留下呢，就心痛。

该歇歇了，
心灵上的折磨难以抹去。

梦里，
压力统统出现。

恶魔，
毒蛇，
血腥的画面，
足让我作呕。

该休息了。。。
该到了。。。

Lost and Found

2009-01-27T18:52:00.002+08:00

i was Lost.

In the midst of the Crowd,
i lose my directions.

You never left me.

i gave up Hopes and Wishes,
for they never came true.

You never left me but was by my side all the times.

i grew frustrated of Restrictions and Rules,
i became rebelious.

Yet, You are always there.

i, once, thought that You never exist.
You showed me Miracles.

i thought of letting go forever,
but You never let me go,
You held on to me still.

You sent Signs and Messengers.
Doing everything You can to pull me back.

Now,
i am home again.

You never cease to lose hope in me.
You stood by me always.
Showed me Signs and Messages.

i am home now.
i am, truly, home now.

Of Ang Pau and Blessings

2009-01-27T18:29:00.002+08:00

I realised that nowadays, especially this year, what with the economic crisis and all the chaos around the World, everyone is tighting their own pockets, which means here that the amount of money that one can find in ang paus reduced.

Well, i heard complains and all from people that this year they did not receive much for Chinese New Year, though it is only the second day of the festival. Omigosh, that shows that people nowadays can be really money-minded and that's something that the society should be concern about. People are getting greedy, senseless over money. Or, is this the time when the phrase, "Money drives a man crazy" is to be used?

All these while, the amount of money in my red packets did not really matter as i always took all of these as a sign of blessing. This year i particularly feel that this is something that is right. Chinese New Year's eve, i received numerous wishings from all my friends and my teachers from high school. To me, though they are just SMSes but they are still wishes and blessings, especially from my high school teachers. All of these meant alot to me.

Then comes the Ang Paus. Every ang pau i get i take it as a blessing given by the Elders. Their blessings is what really counts not the money. If they gave me RM1 or RM0.50 in a red packet, i would gladly take it as it is a form of blessing. i know that in some parts of China, as i was told, the children received only 1 yuan for Chinese New Year,which is equalevant to our RM 1 for years and they are happy.

Here i felt that sometimes if the amount of money in the red packet is not to the children's liking, they will just chose to ignore that particular giver sometimes. People are getting really money-minded/obesses with money. A sign that the true value of Chinese New Year is no longer there. i always believe that no matter how One is modern, he/she must still go by the rules of their culture. This is something that i see many are relectant to do. For example, usually the first and second day is reserved for the family, but i see my cousins going in and out of the house, without giving a damn to this. Well, maybe their families have different practices but mine for sure, will never allow me to do that one the 1st to 3rd day, which is normally reserved for my Paternal and Maternal sides, not to mention, also my Godparents.

i should not be critising anyone but this year's Chinese New Year, for me, is abit lonely and the family warmth and togetherness weakens as everyone go their own separate ways in Life.

2009-01-26T23:03:00.003+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

May the Year of the Ox brings many good fortunes to all.

Keep smiling and remember that take everything that Life throws at you!!

High Hopes

2009-01-21T18:11:00.002+08:00

i stayed up last night from 11pm-about 2 am in the morning to watch the highly anticipated Inauguration Ceremony of the 44th President of United States, Mr. Barack H. Obama!!!

i messaged Apurva to inform her that CNN is broadcasting LIVE from the Capitol, the place where the Inaugural Ceremony was held. Damn, there are so many people, CNN estimated about 20 million people is presented and there were more world wide watching the auspicious event.

There was billions watching.It was about 12pm that Obama and Bush leave the White House and headed for the Capitol. I will cut short and straight to the part where Obama arrived at the Capitol. The crowds were screaming and cheering for Obama to appear on the platform. It was exactly like in a Rock Concert.

'OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA!'

Finally he walked out, man, he was calm and steady. And, oh my goodness, you should have heard his Inaugural Speech. It was full of Power and Certainty. The Speech was strong and when CNN zoomed in to the crowd, you can see that everyone there is paying Obama, their fullest attention. Change! He emphasised on Change. And the Inaugural ceremony was a Change itself.

Obama is the first African-American to be elected as a President.He's taking drastic actions to face the economy crisis and the Middle East affair. He used the Bible that Abraham Lincoln used when he was took his oath to be the president. Owh ya, he was also official the President by noon even before he took the oath, as stated by the Constitution.

One more fact, throughout his speech, he never read or have a script on the platform, the way he delivered his speech was from his Heart. He need not use a script for that. i salute to you, Pres. Obama

Michelle Obama's dress was gorgeous that day. Nothing too striking but it complimented her. And it was a really humble dress but it was really obvious and stood out among the masses of black.

All in all, the Inaugural ceremony was a success ending with the Obamas sending off the Bushs.

I wish Pres. Obama greatest of luck and hope that the changes he intended on can be made without further delays and can be fulfilled.

GOOD LUCK MR. BARACK OBAMA

2009-01-20T09:51:00.003+08:00

20 Jan 09

Yee Siew Fai

Happy Birthday man! wow, you are already 19. Here's a friend that i met in form 1 but really get to know him in form 4 n 5, an awesome dude with big plans for the future.

Long due Gathering...

2009-01-12T11:47:00.005+08:00

Well, just like what the title meant...an long over due gathering happened last nite, 11 Jan 09

After 7 years...

i finally manage to meet most of my tuition mates and my standard 5 & 6 BM tuition teacher, CGU Tan!!!

i was really excited about the gathering when Ning Jui sms-ed me because i typically lost contact with all of the gang for 7 years. What makes them still remember me?haha...

After a few smses, the venue was confirmed to be in Old Taste, Puchong @ 6pm.

Lets cut short and fast forward to last nite...

=Gathering @ OLD TASTE, Puchong=

i was supposed to pick Ning Jui @ 6pm sharp but i had to feed my doggie, so it delayed abit, and i was in a mess when i rushed out of the hse. Her hse was less than a minute from my place, and she was waiting outside already, paiseh ar...We drove our way out onto the highway that lead to the Other side of Puchong.

There i went on to fetch Jun Suet @ Jln Kenari. i thought maybe she be following Boon Lay, it was then i heard from Ning Jui that Boon Lay moved to Puchong Utama and, it was also then i only know that, CGU Tan moved to Bandar Bukit Puchong. Wow, all so freaking far already...

The journey to Old Taste was less than 5 minute and was kinda quiet, minus the directions given by Ning Jui and Jun Suet. Well, 7 years of separation, the topic is kinda sacred for me. The Others were in the same class in Stan. 5 & 6, and Most were in the same school, that's why they still see each other often.

We parked in front of Old Taste and surprisingly we saw CGU Tan, Wei Jie and Boon Lay sitting there waiting. The first reaction from CGU Tan was, " Dragon, wah..you so tall already." haha...She is still the same cheerful self.

How i miss the times when i am having tuition with all of Them, it was fun and learning. They were all from the same class, 6H, and i was the odd one out, 6J, but they treated me the same. An equal, which i don't get that much in CHS sometimes.

We ordered drinks and our dinners. Chatted for 2 hours about our life, school and other misc.

From there i get to know that CGU Tan is undergoing part time course in OUM aside from her teaching in Yak Chee, Boon Lay is a JPA Scholar and is currently in KTT studying Dentistry and will be leaving for India next year end, Jun Suet is taking A-Levels in Sunway, Wei Jie in TARC accounting and Ning Jui in Mass Communication in INTI.

CGU Tan still teases us like the old days. She asked about our SPMs and what stream we were in. She was also asking about how can she memorize a whole chunk of infos, i remember how we used to ask her that question, haha. She was also asking around about how is our high school, as her daughter will be entering Form 1 soon.

Throughout the whole conversation, most of the time i was quiet, so is Ning Jui. i was silent because i wanted to hear about how the Others are going on, i have some serious catching up to do with all of Them. Life changed after Yak Chee for all of Us.

We chatted till 8.55pm or so, then CGU Tan had to leave because she had an appointment with someone back home. But we stayed back as Boon Lay was waiting for his parents to pick him up. It was 9.30 or so when his parents arrived and, then, we left Old Taste.

Each left Old Taste behind and headed home. I drove Ning Jui and Jun Suet back, the journey home was short but it was not quiet. It was full of chit chattings.

i reached home around 9.40 pm or so.

=============================================

i, personally, felt that the Gathering was a blast, though we just talked and talked. i was amazed at how They changed, they all looked matured and all grown up.

Old Taste, was the most ideal place to hold this Gathering. one, the food was way cheaper than Old Town's and, not to mention, bigger servings.

It was also, Old Taste meant that it brings us back to the good Old days when we are in tuition class. Where CGU Tan coaches Us for UPSR and how we laughed quirky jokes, haha...i will never forget the good Old days.

Old Taste also meant that We get together to rekindle Our friendship, which we did!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for the good memories and the good times in Yak Chee, CGU Tan tuition and, the most recent, at Old Taste...

Hope to see all of you in the next Gathering...^^

So totally in LOVE!!

2009-01-11T00:43:00.003+08:00

Well, i m soo totally in love with HIS songs!!!

Declan Galbraith,
he is born in 91, that means he is now 18 this year..
cutting the crap, his songs really touches my heart
and it has a really magnetic sense that will draws you to it.

This happened to me.
At first i thought it was no big, but then after listening to various songs of his...

O GOD!!

it's like magnets... well, i spare you the crap now and show you...

Nights in White Satin...

i am in love......aww......haha...

Oh, not to forget the song that started the new era of fandom...

Tell me why

Thats back when he was still a young boy...

The latest HIM

Ego You

=============================================

Let me know what you think of him...

Bday Wishes'09

2009-01-06T10:14:00.005+08:00

Alright, my first post for the New Year would be to wish my friends, Happy Birthday!

January 1

Januar

A Talented Photographer, takes killer shots with stunning photos..^^
Sorry for the Belated Happy Birthday!!!

Today

Judy Choi

Daring, Sexy and Cute all in one package, whats more can you ask for??
Girl, you are a year older now!!
Go Bunnies...haha

January 2

Urooj Imrooz

Humble, lovely, charms people in her own way.
One in a Million gal!!

2008-12-30T18:24:00.002+08:00

Alright! the resume of my National Service Story will officially start now! Because i just keep having this thing hanging above me and it really bugs me that i can't even finish one decent chapter of my NS story straight went i arrived home from there, which is about 9 months or more...

ZOMG!!

anywayz, once i get at least 2 chapters done i will get it posted here or on a new blog, also, u might find some new addition aside from the NS stories. ^^

Will keep all readers up-to-date!!

Remembering National Service Series 5/Batch 1 HRAK,Malacca

2008-12-30T14:03:00.002+08:00

This post was supposed to be posted yesterday (29/12) but i was caught up with something else so i did not have the time to do so.

Yesterday marked the 1st anniversary of me entering National Service in Malacca.
It was also then that i learnt to be really independant.
It was also then i realised that i was not in for hell but,in, for a life changing experience.

i will never regret the fact that i went into National Service for 2 1/2 months.
And i will never forget what my besties there in National Service, i miss u guyz!!!

Was thinking on starting a new blog, specially for my National Service Story and, maybe, short comic strips. Till then ciaoz...

鹿不再回头.The Deer will never look back again.

2008-12-25T01:22:00.003+08:00

鹿回头，
情郎为生活远行，
回头遥望故乡，
心中想家也像伊人。

A deer looks behind it and saw,

A young man, travelling afar for his livelihood,

He looks back before his journey,

deep in His heart, He thinks of his family and, also, His lover.

我不再相信了。。。

this i will never believe again...

$%#@!#$%$%

2008-12-25T01:08:00.002+08:00

-i lease my anger and emotions here, in this post, so it will be vulgar and freaking pissed, if you can understand my feelings now,you will know why.-

my kai-jie from NS was planning to visit KL during Xmas but because of her tuition, she decided to stay back and attend her tuition. Well, i told my parents that she be coming to visit so i am not going to Spore with them. So now i am gonna be alone for Xmas and 3 days afterward.

It really SUX!!!!

i am really pissed and want to just hit someone or just wreck the house.
i wanna lose my sanity for a moment and just lease it all out.

i can't accept the fact that you wanted to be just friends!
When u were the one that gave me hope and all!!!

i can't accept the fact that you said that you can't freaking concerntrate on your studies!!
When i did not even bother you during your revision time and exam period!!!!

i can't accept the fact that i can still sat down with you can chatted for 1/2 hour after that!!!
FUCK my idiotic gentleman attitude!!!!!

i have feelings too.
i might not seem to care but i just love you too much!!!

i want to hug you,
i want to be there for you, with you.

i don't want to be just FRIENDS!
i want to be your MAN!!

i loved thrice but this is the only time when i really feel the pain.

i can't freaking stand it anymore!!
i want to abandon my stupid gentleman behaviour!!
i want to just be ME!!!
i want to be demanding!!!
i want to be a SPOILT BRAT now!!!!

but why?
why can't i?!

无言.Speechless

2008-12-25T00:48:00.003+08:00

现在是圣诞节
大家都在被窝里睡着了，唯有我呆着。

It's Christmas now.

Everyone's asleep,only i am still here. Awake.

没了。
破了。
碎了。

It's Gone.

It's Spoilt.

It's Unrepairable.

我的心在哭泣。
那鲜血般的眼泪，
不停的流出。。。

My heart is crying.

Its tears are the blood that flows through my veins,

dripping none stop...

我恨我自己。
因为让自己沉迷太久了。
因为让自己爱得太深了。
因为让我爱上不该爱的人。

i hate myself.

For sinking in too deep.

For loving too much.

For loving someone that's impossible to get.

不哭。。。
不，我是想停的，而是眼泪已无法再流了。

Stop crying...

No, i wanted to stop, but the tears are just pouring itself out.

忘掉以前，做回朋友吧。
我无法做到，因为我爱得太深了。

Let's be friends and forget the past.

i can't do it, because i loved you too much.

哭吧，哭吧。
眼泪流了，就可以睡了。。。

Then, cry.

Let the tears flow till you are asleep...

Summarizing Term 3

2008-12-20T21:14:00.008+08:00

Alrite!

Summing up Term 3 before i fully enjoy my 2 week holiday...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Graphic Design

Assignment 1 :

Presentation on a selected Designer,which i chose Daniel Brown, a London-based Web designer. He's a big shot and came a long way before he became what he is now.

Assignment 2 :

Typography Lettering.

My concept was to use animal paw prints and alphabets. Simon wanted us to play around with negative and positive space. Done with Markers and was really high for few hours.

He later asked us to create alphabets ranging from A-Z. We, those attending Graphic Design class, were really 'screaming' over it but we managed it somehow. Here's mine.

This took me 4 hours or so and the aftermath was that i was really freakin' high on Markers AGAIN!!!

Assignment 3 :

Creating a 5-series stamp and first day cover based on the animals in Zoo Negara. For that we went on a fieldtrip to Zoo Negara on a rainy day.

My concept was to use dots as dots can be used to interpret as tracking devices on animals. My slogan was 'Dotting our Existence',i mean animals like to be free and definately not to be marked as one of those endangered ones and needed to be track. Therefore the animals that i chosen were endangered ones and are natives to Malaysia or from the tropical regions.

Top:(Left to Right) False Gharial,Orang Utan, Flamingo

Below: (Left to Right) Sun Bear, Malayan Tapir

The above is the First Day Cover, i used the Zoo Negara's map and the animals that were illustrated on the stamps were marked on the map with the help of different colored Dots.

Digital Illustration

Assignment 1:

We were asked to create 3 logos for a toy company on our first lesson as the first assignment. I came up with these:

The monkey was the first and i created it while looking around A-Mac and spotted a typography assignment by one of the seniors. The blocks and stars were of random creation.

Assignment 2 :

Gradient Mesh. Using the Gradient Mesh on Illustrator to create a still life replica of a photo found online.

Assignment 3:

Use alphabets to create a typography image. I decided to go for a wedding-theme image after watching Mamma Mia, yes i watch the movie 3 times and still loves it!! I tried to duplicate the scene of Sophie's wedding but it turned out, it takes to much time so i just create something simple like this :

Assignment 4:

Create a window display for a game parlour. The must criteria was that to include 'There's always something new' and 'Coming Soon'

I decided to use a favourite game of mine as the main game advertisement. PacMan! I changed the circle 'food' that PacMan hunts for into square and the borders from square to circle.

3D Techniques

Assignments done:

Basic Poly,Lighting Testing,Creating UVs and a few more that i cannot remember.

Final Assignments:

Toy design. I wanna do something simple so i just played around with the sphere and it turned out like this after Tom helped me with the lighting and render. I named It, Welve, after Wall-E and Eve.

The last Final assignment was using Masha and pose her into 5 different poses and expressions.

Image Processing

Assignment 1 :

Monster. Create a monster from parts of animals.

After much considerations, i decided to go with a monster that is similar to Medusa but a lot more grizzly like. It has blood sucking mouth and a fuzzy attitude. It looks cute, hahaha...

Daffee wanted me to go for a kind of effect that's like someone snapping a photo of the monster. It looks like this on the computer but when printed it became dark and the effect's gone...

Assignment 2 :

Draw your friend's potrait using only brushes or basic Photoshop tools.

i chose Apurva while she's stuck with me...Her's face was one of the easiest part of the whole assignment. It was really hard to create her hair as it was curly and yet straight, so it was kinda hard.

By the final week of this assignment, Daffee decided to add a twist. He wanted us to create a random image of our friend in a different expression or totally different look. I chose to make Apurva into a man, which i think makes her look like Michael Jackson, sorry Apurva.

The Final Product was printed on A2 and her original photo was placed side by side with the male version of Apurva.

Assignment 3 :

He gave us 3 choices for this: Pareidolia, Supernatural and Celebrity Toy. i chose Celebrity Toy. After giving Daffee various selections of celebrity that might be made into a doll, he decided to chosose Dato' Michelle Yeoh, which really suits me. i am a big fan of hers!!

Making her doll wasn't easy. i had a really hard time making her look 3D. The final result was reasonably satisfying but i still think that there is room for improvements.

The second assignment was to use the famous Manaki/Zhao Cai Cat to create a Christmas Card.

My idea was to use the figure and re-create it into a Christmas spirit one. So i added presents on the heels of the cat and added a big red bag replacing the gold its holding and add on a santa's hat. Daffee later wanted me to put it on a table in a living room with a Christmas Tree.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

That sums up all of my Term 3.1's assignments.

So till 4.1 starts, i be taking a well-earned break.

Updates

2008-12-05T18:15:00.002+08:00

Recently, i have been really working hard on all of my finals. It's tough as i have only 2 weeks time to finish everything,including printed and approved.ARGH!!

This is because i will be leaving for Hainan Island on the 13th to 17th Dec for a short vacation with the BIG gang,my family,uncle's family,grandparents and auntie's two children. A total of 13 people will be charging into Haikou's International Airport soon. We have been anticipating this trip for like 3 years? Since the day my grandpa mentioned it casually over dinner to my parents.

The main objective, of us going there, would be the wish of my grandpa wanting us, his grandchildren and his own children to see the place he was raised and to, maybe, visit some of his relatives there. Owh ya, i think we still have a house there, which is currently being lived in by my grandpa's sis, so that makes her,um...,my grand aunt?

Well enough of that, i had to go back to my Dollie and Miao already. Ciaoz~

等待

2008-12-02T17:54:00.003+08:00

天上的星星照耀着黑暗的夜空。

已是深夜了。

你不睡觉，
却埋力的读书，
好应付明天的会考。

美丽的月亮在迷茫的夜空看守。

已是三更。

我在书房里，
赶着功课，
好应付明天老师检验。

都说

山伯与英台，三天差别，英台逼嫁文才，山伯病倒身亡。
嫦娥与后异，相爱，因日月差别，不能再一起。
牛郎与织女，凡人与仙女，翻天条，只于七月初七相会。

*

我可以为你，
化蝶，因英台为会山伯，愿成蝶，与他长久相随。

*

我可以把让天空成月全食，
因猛烈的太阳方能会雪白的月亮。

*

我愿意等待喜鹊桥的出现，
才与你相会。

我是真心的爱你。。。

妒忌

2008-12-02T17:03:00.005+08:00

我好妒忌。。。
看到你们的背影足足，让我觉得你们是否还把我看在眼里。
是否还把我当成朋友。

*

我只怪我自己当初没和大伙儿常参在一块。
我不想怪谁。
我只怪我自己。

*

那一天听到你们开心的谈说，

我不经沉静了一会儿。

可是不到一分钟后，你往我方向看，问道：

“诶，你还好吧？为何那么的安静？”

“。。。”

“嘿，你还好吗？有事烦着你吗？”

我从沉静里醒过来。

“啊，没有啦。自是想着功课而已。”

“别想了。才刚上完课就想着功课。你啊，是无药可救啊！”

“哈哈。。。”

“诶，要吃么？”

“要！”

“那去点菜呀！”

那一刻起，
我不再认为你们抛弃我。

2008-11-28T20:44:00.003+08:00

i believe everyone around has heard of the Tragedy that happened in Mumbai, India in the news or by mouth. It's really sad and sickening to see or hear such a thing happening.

i am deeply shaken and sick over this massacre.

Though i have no power over it but i really wanted to express how i felt over this Tragedy.

Therefore, i am changing my blogskin to black and my profile photos in my all of my accounts to Candles to mourn this dreadful Tragedy.

My deepest sympathy to those who lost family members or loved ones in the Tragedy.

2008-11-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

emo emo emo emo emo...

2008-11-24T00:10:00.002+08:00

today i felt weird.
as if i might lose one of my buddies.

i am worried.

please don't make me go through another drama again..

Please...

PS: i just cried. maybe because it was of the song i am listening..

First the Car then now the Laptop are both acting up...

2008-11-20T21:06:00.002+08:00

It was first my car, the 10 year old or more, Satria.

She, well i would refer the car as a She because Satria reminds me of a girl, sorta played a 'prank' on me by suddenly goin' dead while i was just about to reach my sister's tuition center. It just went off without any warning and the moment She stopped, out came a buzzing noise from the radio compartment.

I told my mum about it and She was sent to the foreman for servicing for 2 days. When she returned home, She look fantastic! The foreman informed my uncle that the Satria has, no apparent, problems and was working just fine.

However, it was a week later that She started acting up again. It was rainning and the daily traffic jam that occupied the road to the SMART tunnel was very BAD! i was driving happily or rather grumpily home when the first strike came by. She went dead in the middle of the road after i braked. i restarted the car ASAP and went off the road again. Then the second strike came. She died in the middle of the road again and this time a car almost hit me in the back. i switched the emergency light on and i restarted the car again. Then it was all smooth till after the SMART tunnel's toll. Just when i was about to exit the toll and headed out onto the road, She died AGAIN! This time at the divider of the road. It was scary as cars behind me were honking and i am taking up the whole road. i restarted it AGAIN and then i speed all the way and out onto the roads of Old Klang Road. While waiting for the traffic light to turn green, She striked AGAIN! i panicked and was shaking as the cars behind me honked louder. i restart and drove as fast as i could to reach the exit to the Highway that will cut into Puchong. Then She striked AGAIN! This time luck was by my side as She died while i just arrived at the traffic light. After that i dare not stop and just sped my way home. Upon reaching my front gate, i sighed and took everything out of the car and headed inside the house. i told my dad about Her and She was once again sent to the foreman.

My lappie/laptop, Acer. Let's call it a Him alright?

He's barely a year old and just today when i was all hot and wanted to surf the net, He just won't connect for me! It's weird as he never behaves like that so i called up my two computer expert cousins and told them my problem. They told me to repair the internet connection, there is a button there by your connection icon or restart my laptop. However, after both of these were done, He still would not stay connect for me for long. It flickered and blinked. It can detect the network but just cannot seem to stay connect to it. i was worked up as i need to get some infos for my class tomorrow so i had no choice but to use the cable to connect my lappie to the internet.

After having my dinner, He connected to the internet. Wireless-ly. Then he disconnect and connect again. But for the time being, he is well-behaved.

小丑

2008-11-12T23:18:00.002+08:00

我是小丑

我娱乐各位，可是我是悲伤的。

*

戴上面具，
画上彩妆，
换上服装。

成了另一个人。

微笑的面孔，
广阔的心胸。
为你带来欢笑，
再多悲伤也不放在脸。

*

伤痛的人，
被逗得笑了。

忧愁的人，
解开了内心。

失落的人，
找回了信心。

*

唯有我暗地里留着眼泪，所有的痛往心里埋。

12112008

2008-11-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

been kinda emo lately.
though most of you might not know that, but i try to keep it confined to only my bedroom.
i do not feel that it is fair for me to unleash all my sadness onto my friends.

it's been a really hectic period in college.
assignments after assignments were given almost instantly after the previous one is done.

it's kinda good as this immune-d my.
it's been a real comfort that i still have my pals around me.
it's been really nice that i can still laugh and talk like i used to.

o ya, i owe all of you out there a few posts to date. The Genting Outing,the Gang Overnight,My Bday and also a most recent event, Raffles' Halloween party.

Cry

2008-11-12T23:00:00.002+08:00

Finally
I cried

After holding back so many days, it finally came pouring out.

*

Vulnerable.
Sadness engulfed me.

*

The only medicine to this was that I kept on working.

Moving.
Walking.
Thinking.

*

Wait!

Thinking?!
It only makes me think of You so much more.

Nothing penetrates my brain now.

*

It hurts me.
It breaks me.
It destroys me.

*

Empty.

A hollow shell.
Working but not concentrating.

A blank pair of eyes.
Staring but not recording.

A broken heart.
Beating but not feeling.

哭

2008-11-12T22:49:00.003+08:00

我终于哭了。。。

忍住那么多天的眼泪终于留下了。

悲伤
痛苦
失望

统统发泄了。。。

我未尝为了爱而流泪

*

爱

多么的好，
多么的美。

*

伤

那么的深，
那么的痛。

*

没了。
绝望了。

---

2008-10-28T17:08:00.003+08:00

i fell into a Dream...

a long and undeciding Dream...

i never dreamt it would end like this...

you letting me know i had a chance

yet, break me down once again.

i have nothing more to offer.

i am now vulnerable...

so vulnerable

any hints of you allowing me back into your world makes me feel alive.

i am not heartbroken.

i am glad we talked

i am glad that we are best friends

i am glad that you told me sooner before i sank in too deep.

Please don't worry about me.

i am fine...

2008-10-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

ET's going back Melaka today. He's not staying in KL for a night before leaving for home.
Well, i think. We will just have to meet some other time..

22102008

2008-10-22T20:59:00.003+08:00

I stared.

Cars passed me by,

People rushing by.

Numb

Why can't i feel a thing?

Ask yourself, boy!

But why, owh, why are you crying, stupid boy!

i don't know..

What?! you don't know?

yeah, i just don't know...

Tears drenched my face.

Stop! Please stop!!

My heart aches,

there are wounds that can never heal.

It bleeds in silence.

who can ever tell?

Stop..pleaseee stop...

i can't stop.

Don't think of It again...

i can't

Why?

hurt!

I guess the wound is deeper than i thought.

maybe it is...

But it doesn't mean that you have to CRY!

...

Owh!! You're hopeless.

...

I'm leaving.

...

GoodBye! Patch yourself up! I'm not going to do it AGAIN!

...

Rain now drenched my body.

Making my tear-stained face wet.

I screamed...

201008

2008-10-20T21:12:00.005+08:00

okayy...sorry for not updating that often this week as i was and still is rushing to get my assignments done before the 30 Oct as i be goin to....BALI!!

anyways, i promise a new update later on about my birthday and also many other random stuff that happened..lolz...

Good news!! En Ting also known as ET aka my best bud frm NS will be coming to KL on Wednesday!!!Woot Woot!!! man, i anticipated this day for almost, lets say 6 months?, since we parted from HRAK NS..i just can't wait!!

Also, my 'long-lost', ahem, sis who dumped me in Msia n left for Spore is coming back for her holidays!!!YEAH!!!!

Alrighty thats all i will post now as i have to go back to S's assignment. Till then ciaoz..

Officially IT!!

2008-10-15T21:47:00.003+08:00

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Today

C J

officially

Adulthood arrived!!

Woohoo!!!

that means i just had 18 years on this Earth?!

hm..am i old already??

i will post a full post of 15 Oct tomorrow.As i am now sleepy and tired..

it's a really nice day!!

Wonderful Day that ended F***inly

2008-10-14T20:58:00.002+08:00

Today was the day when Christopher,Richard & mua went to the beloved Zoo Negara of M'sia..lolz..

We met up @ Kl Sentral about 8.30am but somehow everyone aside from YuPeng,unexpected addition, arrived late. After some McDs, the three of us left for WangsaMaju via LRT while Yu Peng went back to the hostel, as he need to attend an interview somewhere in KL.

Upon reachin Wangsa Maju LRT Station,we waited for RapidKL U34. IT took an entire hour for the bus to appear,BUT!!, we had to wait for the driver to take his time in the restroom, which was another 1/2 hour,ISK!!!!

11am sharp,we aboard the long-awaited bus. 5 minutes barely passed when we arrived at the main enterance of the Zoo. i, admittedly,was amazed by the whole new structure that the Authorities built, which would be the Car Park,lolz. The main enterance though is still the same old one. i hadn't visit the Zoo since i was like 3 year-old or so.

We coughed out rm15 as the enterance fees. DAMN,15!! well, i thought maybe the whole Zoo would be nice and attractive so the fees increased. It was, however, a utter HUGE dissapointment.

The road was the same, the exhibits were the same,the animals,well if i'm right to assume, SAME!! The changes only, appeared when we started to hunt for the Fast Food Restaurant. It was situated by the lake 15 years ago but now it's amongst the midst of exhibit of some kerbau.

The Zoo photo session took the whole day. It was 2pm when we left the Zoo and board the Metro16 that headed for Centre Market. Christopher asked me whether i would like to join him and Richard in KLCC as he is goin' to the Maxis booth to cut his old line. The bus took us to Dato' Keramat's LRT Station. We left the bus and headed for the Hostel.

Richard bathe while Chris and i just lay around his room. i simply lovveee YuPeng's pillow. It's soo hard and comfy..lolz...hahaha...after layin' for 1/2 hour or so, we decided to move our lazy bum and walked back out to the LRT station and board the next LRT to KLCC.

Our plan was to watch a movie then have dinner so that when all is done it would be about 7pm and chris can meet his sister. Before goin' for the ticket booth, we pondered on what to watch. We ended up by playin' scissors-paper-stone to decide what to watch. If i win, we watch MammaMia. If Chris wins, we watch Death Accuracy. i won.

The movie was GOOD!! It was 6.30pm when the movie ended. We hunt for food @ the FoodCourt in KLCC. Both Chris and Richard had Chix Rice while i had Sizzling YeeMee. After that i bid goodbye to Chris and Richard and left for the LRT.

The queue was frightening. But thank god i managed to squeeze into the LRT when it came. i can hardly move a muscle in the compartment. It was like a can of sardines. Upon reaching Pasar Seni Station, i had to 'swim' my way out. Outside rain was pouring like MAD. i dashed across the road to the bus station to board RapidKL U69.

This was where the F*** part begins. Brave yourself. i join the mini-queue outside the bus. i stoood beside a lady while behind me was a man. When the bus driver opened the door, everyone squeezed into the bus. i was in between that man and the lady. when the lady managed to get in the bus, i felt something leavin' my right pocket.

And lo and behold, i saw that man grabbing my ipod pocket with a straight face, as if he had not done any wrong. Well, if you did like to know how i knew it, partly because my ipod pocket had a semi-leather skin and if you had it in your pocket, you will definately know when it leaves your pocket, also, i still had my earphones on my ears and the music were booming. When that JACKASS took my ipod,the earphone came off, which means the music just died.

i turned around and saw his FILTHY hands on my ipod pocket! i snatched it back immediately. His grip wasn't tight and when i snatched it back, i just looked up and rushed to enter the bus. That BIMBO had the nerves to tap me on my back and apologize!!!! F*** him!!!! He said, " Sorry ar Bang/something" but i din't F***in' care. i headed for a vacant seat at the back and sat in it.

That guy had the guts to board the bus and sat just around the corner where i was. i glared at him. i kept my ipod, handphone all into my bag and took out my umbrella. well, i was thinking if he had the nerves to do the crime again, i'm gonna scream like a banshee and whack him with my umbrella.

However he did not do anything and left the bus upon reaching Bintang.

This attempt-theft was the first in all of my 18 years. i thought i understand how my friends felt when their stuff were lost by theft or so but this time, i feared that my stuff will 'fly' into someone else's hand. You can hardly imagine how i felt when i saw my ipod was grabbed by a total stranger with the motif of keeping it forever.

Well, lesson learned.

NEVER EVER USE MY IPOD OR HANDPHONE WHILE QUEUIN' TO BOARD A BUS. If possible, leave wallets and other precious belongings in bag and clutch to your bag like it's your life until you board the bus and get a seat.

*sorry if i had many grammar errors in this post, as i am shaking with anger while typing all of this.*

UNGU + Monster = very very RANDOM post

2008-10-12T20:34:00.002+08:00

damn..this is gonna be one of those really REALLY random post.

LoLz...

was browsin' through the Net hunting for a Monster that suits my taste till i fell into Purple House@CHS's bloggie..man, they really took 2008's Sports Day seriously.

Well, not that we,the previous members, slack but you can really see the effort in it. And its kinda sad that they did not win this year's Champion. i guess they wanted to live up to us, the seniors', expectations. Note: we did put quite a lot of pressure on them.But, anywayz, they did a good job,though the Sport Days was like something ages ago, i hope that the upcoming ones will strive for UNGU!!

make Purple House the Alpha Dog in the Fields of CHS.

owh, by the way, i had better continue my hunt for the Monsters of my DREAMS. i bet everyone in my class now is spending sleepless nights,not? looking for animals' parts to be disect and morph into one huge,monstrous Darling.

Any animals up for a little plastic surgery?

till then,peace out..>.<

音乐飘满天! @ Let there be Music!

2008-10-11T11:47:00.003+08:00

i think i will save the trouble for my readers out there to hunt for the MV of the two songs i posted earlier on. So here it is:

記事本 @ Diary

女人何苦为难女人 @ Women, why must you hurt me?

Hope you liked it^^..

女人何苦为难女人@Women,why must you hurt me so?

2008-10-10T23:41:00.003+08:00

可以爱的人那么多
你为什么非要我这一个

痴心
是无法比较的
你的情深无法否认我的爱浓
真的爱都不容易收
成熟的人谁说一定不怕痛

爱人
是不能够让的
你的天真叫我不知该怎么说

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样有最脆弱的灵魂
世界男子已经太会伤人
你怎么忍心再给我伤痕

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样为爱颠簸在红尘
飘忽情缘总是太作弄人
我满怀委屈却提不起恨

可以爱的人那么多你
为什么非要我这一个

痴心
是无法比较的
你的情深无法否认我的爱浓
真的爱都不容易收
成熟的人谁说一定不怕痛

爱人
是不能够让的
你的天真叫我不知该怎么说

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样有最脆弱的灵魂
世界男子已经太会伤人
你怎么忍心再给我伤痕

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样为爱颠簸在红尘
飘忽情缘总是太作弄人
我满怀委屈却提不起恨

我无力再争
只觉得失落好深

男人该说话的时候
总是无声

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样有最脆弱的灵魂
世界男子已经太会伤人
你怎么忍心再给我伤痕

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样为爱颠簸在红尘
飘忽情缘总是太作弄人
我满怀委屈却提不起恨

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样有最脆弱的灵魂
世界男子已经太会伤人
你怎么忍心再给我伤痕

女人何苦为难女人
我们一样为爱颠簸在红尘
我满怀委屈却提不起恨

女人何苦为难女人

------------------------------------

For those that knows Chinese, the meaning of this lyrics are meaningful and true.
For those who don't,well,i just explain it briefly.

------------------------------------

This song talks about love.
Focusing more on the love triangle,that happens so often nowadays.

Why must you step into this relationship knowing that you had to fight to get your Love?
Why must you,of the same gender,fight with me to get the same guy?

We both endulge ourselves in Love more,when, compared to Men.
Though i really hate you for doing so but i cannot bear to voice out my dissapointment
Or lease my frustrations on you.

You, undoubtly, was one that fell for Him when he switched on his charms.

You understand the fact that we are both weaponless and hurt in the triangle.
But why must you step into this?
When you can get someone better out there?

I am restless and weak.
When a Man has to voice out,
He, rather, stays quiet.

And why must you hurt me again?
When I am scarred and, already, fragile.

Women,why must you hurt me so??

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song, in general, is kind of a emo/sad/depress song. i came to hear it when i was watching the TV series,the same Chinese title,on Astro. Its a really good story and i was, instantly, hooked on the theme song.

The main reason for me posting this up, was just to lease out some of my frustrations that i am facing now,especially in the relationship catergory.

。爱。恨。恋。

2008-10-10T23:03:00.002+08:00

爱过

一场轰轰烈烈的爱

。

一夜里
开始了

电话里的密语
短讯里的诺言
见面时的礼物

快乐时光

。

一瞬间
没了

不接你的来电
无力回你短讯
你礼物丢了

我哭泣你没看见
我伤痛 你无法了解

。

恍如，一把利刀在我心中插着

。

带着面具 面对现实
开心的面 伤心的心
无力了 失落了
没了哭了

恨爱

。

太伤感

。

半年

。复原了。

恋

爱你
怕失去
默默地等

记事本@Diary

2008-10-10T21:38:00.003+08:00

离开随身携带的记事本
写着许多事都是关于你
你讨厌被冷落
习惯被守候
寂寞才找我

我看见自己写下的心情
把自己放在
卑微的后头
等你等太久想你泪会流
而幸福快乐是什么

爱的痛了
痛的哭了
哭的累了
日记本里页页执着
记载着你的好
像上瘾的毒药
它反覆骗着我

爱的痛了
痛的哭了
哭的累了
矛盾心里
总是强求
劝自己要放手
闭上眼睛让你走
烧掉日记重新来过

------------------------------------------------

decided to use Chinese to show my feelings now. This is one really soothing song and it's nice to hear when one is down or lonely. Tittle of my post is the title of the song,well except for the '@ Diary' part.

Briefly talk about this song. It's about being brave to let go.

081008

2008-10-08T10:58:00.002+08:00

nothing changes.

still alone in this empty Shell.

no one to hug.
no one to share.
no one to cry on.

Sadness often kills the Happy cells within.
Stress ruins the Carefree feelings.

Often the soul escapes from this empty Shell,
leavin' the sad,empty and hopeless shell behind.

the Soul would often dive into Its Ocean of Memories.
there It can swim in Happy memories.
leaving aside the Sad ones.

Bored.

then, It will fly into the Realm of Dreams.
jumping through Nightmares and Dreams.

Bored.

It will then comes back to the empty Shell.
resuming Life in Reality.

Summarizing Term 2

2008-10-06T13:13:00.013+08:00

Alrighty..

Term3 is approaching so i decided to sum up my Term 2 assignments.

Colors for Designers

Assignment 1:

Scrapbookin'. For this assignment, i created a Pizza-themed scrapbook or,wait, scrapBOX.

In it holds all of my other mini-assignments, including Simultaneous,Adcance and Receding colours,Color Wheel and Tint,Tone and Shade.

Assignment2:

Canvas. We were supposed to choose one artist that is to our liking and 'copied' his style in drawing and painting the canvas. i've chosen Stuart Davis. i was attracted to the way he uses vivid colors and his abstract way of painting and drawing.

i used the theme: waterworld. Thus, Flounder,Hai is born!

Creativity and Problem Solving

Assignment 1:

Creating a piece of Art Movement Poster. i've chosen Art Nouveau as i simply love Mucha's artworks.

Assignment 2:

Sound Excercise. These were all done and compiled in my portfolio bag that i handed in to Simon. So i can't show you all my work. However, the assignment is about sounds.

There were Bees making Love,Violin&Flute,ChinaVsAmerica,Air-Con and Shhhhh...

Assignment 3:

Children Book. We were told to do some research on myths and legends of our culture and create a story of our own.

mine was inspired by the legend of the Dragon Mother.

Design Investigation&Culture

Assignment 1:

Posters for United Benettons. We are asked to start an ad-campaign for UB. I chose 'Peace for Olympics' as my theme as the Olympics was just around the corner that time and rumours were flying saying that there be activists trying to destroy the Games.

My subjects for the posters were the Fuwas. All five of them.

i'm sorry that i can't show my posters as i think that it's gruesome and violent.

Assignment 2:

Mural. We were given the theme:Anti-Racism. It was a team assignment. Apurva n i cracked our heads to try and think of a nice painting that would represents the theme.

After much rejection and cracking of our heads,we came out with..

Assignment 3:

Umbrella. This was the hardest among all,this include classes too. My friends and i focused more in this than any of the ones that were given.

In this assignment, we were suppose to design an umbrella based on a design era. Eventually i seek refuge in Art Nouveau.*i think i'm in love with the era*

Aside from the umbrella,we had to add in a research book and 3 other back up items. My back up items i used poster,Ipod layout design and umbrella cover,which was added in last minute by our lecturer.

Posters

i did not snap a photo of the Ipod layout design and the Umbrella cover as i was in a rush to finish up the whole project.

A night made SPECIAL by you GUYZ..

2008-10-03T00:18:00.002+08:00

just finish bathing after coming back from the Gathering @ OUG.

Here's how it goes..

GuoJie wanted to plan a mini-gathering for a few of us,old chums @ OUG.It was first decided that it would be on monday night, BUT, i m off to Genting so it was postpone to friday,BUT,>< Anthony and SiewFai be going to Genting, so after much discussions, we decided to put it on

.Thursday night @ OUG's Citrus Park.

At approximately 7.20pm, i headed out to Kinrara's Shell station(formerly know as Project station) to pick GuoJie up. After him, i was told to fetch SiewFai, also, even though he sprained his ankle.

We reach Citrus Park @ about 8pm? The parking fee was ridiculously expensive.

RM4!!!man, just for a stupid parking lot..hish..

Anyways we headed for ABC restaurant just across the parking lot and waited for the Others to arrive.

GuoJie was hungry so he ordered Fish'n'Chips while SiewFai and i ordered drinks. We waited, and waited, and waited.. No sign of ThengJee,KoonRui or Anthony.

It was only about 8.45pm or 9pm, did they appear. They sat down and ordered drinks. We chatted abit and crack jokes. Anthony was going on about shisha,GuoJie wanted to play DoTA, while the Others, me included were just there talking.

Anthony,seriously, wanted some shisha and after much persuassion and begging, we decided to pay and head to Steven's Corner at the other side of OUG.

Finding for parking there was a ISSUE. As the PasarMalam is on, so we had to hunt for one. After two cars hitted my Right and Left side-mirrors, did i manage to get one parking lot. Upon reaching Steven's, we ordered drinks and waited,again, for Anthony & co.

They arrived after 15 min. and,to Anthony's dissapointment,there were no shisha available.Thus,we resume our chit chatting about very random stuffs..We also 'bullied' him into paying for us as it was his idea to come here at the first place.

It was about 10.30 or so, when Anthony gave Edward a call asking him to join us. We were running out of topic to talk about so i left and waled around the PasarMalam abit. It took Edward 30 mins to reach OUG, which included the time for parking and all.

However, Edward did not stay long. He had to fetch his cousin sister so he just hang around for 1 min or so and ushered Anthony to follow him home, as he was staying over at his place.

GuoJie and the Others then suggested that we all go to Edward's place. We drove past Old Klang Road and onto BK3 or so. We stopped twice and upon the second stop, SiewFai and i were cursing and feeling really tired. So we call GuoJie and told him that we were leaving. So we left them by the roadside waiting for Edward.

i drove SiewFai home and, later, drove home speeding. As it was few mins to Midnight and i had the chills in my spine.

*~*

Though it was nothing BIG or FANCY but it really made my day.

So far, most of my holidays were spent by helping my grandma with her cleaning and staying at home doing nothing.

Tag by SuePing

2008-10-01T16:03:00.003+08:00

Instructions, Remove 1 question from below and add in a personal question, make it a total of 19 questions. Then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. What Are Your Nickname?
CJ..Dragon Chicken Goat?um...Dragon?haha..i have lots during Primary though..

2. What Is Your Most Favorite Thing To Do?
Read..draw..sing..sleep?

3. What Kind Of New Do You Read?
um..i generally read all...

4. What Is Your Favorite Color?
black..white..purple...

5. Is There Someone In Your Heart Right Now?
yupz...but m not telling anyone now..haha..not even that special someone knows...

6. Do You Believe You Can Survive Without Money?
NO!! imagine this scenario, goin' college by public transport costs about RM3 or so..materials can go up to Rm300..so just for my education, i don't think i can survive that even if my meals are rubbish..

7. What Are You Afraid To Lose The Most?
FAMILY!! FRIENDS!! um...lose my SANITY?

8. What Do You Feel Like Doing Right Now?
nothing particular actually...just wanna relax..

9. If There's Someone That You Love, Would You Confess To Him/Her?
when the time is right, you will know..hehe

10. List Out 3 Good Points Of The Person Who Tagged You.
Happy-Go-Lucky...Caring...can go nuts with me..haha

11. What Are The Requirements That You Wish From Your Other Half?
at least understand the fact that i am usually hidden in my piles of assignments and that my family members come first...

12. What Is The Thing That Will Make You Think That He/She Is Bad?
have to think..

13. If You Had To Eat One Thing For The Rest Of Your Life, What Would It Be?
mum's cooking..haha

14. If You Had A Choice To Be Rich Or Happy, Which One Would You Pick?
of course Happy!! if m rich but scared for my life always, i doubt i live long..

15. If You Have A Chance, Which Part Of Your Character You Would Like To Change?
um..stubborn??

16. How Do You See Yourself In 10 Years Time?
i don't know divination or fortune telling, so i'll just let faith decide..

17. What Is The One Thing You Love About Yourself?
...

18. If You Can Bring Only One Thing Along With You To Another World, What Would It Be?
the relationships that i had..

19. Failure or Archievements?
Well, i think when there's Failure, then comes Archievements or Success..

I TAG...Anthony,SaoWen,YewFai,Daryl,Kenneth,Joey,Jesslyn and Richard.

FANTASTIC @ the Highlands

2008-09-30T09:24:00.004+08:00

well, just had a fantastic day @ Genting Higlands
with my buddies from college.

namely Judy,Richard,Apurva and Ken.

it was just soo FANTASTIC that made me decided to slack this time.
Won't want to bored all of you into boredom with my long texts.

i will just have to wait patiently for the photos to be uploaded and then grabs them
and re-post them again..haha.

so for now..ciaoz^^.

*but thank you for the memory up there in the mountains,guyz!!*

Taggy

2008-09-28T18:32:00.004+08:00

by CheaYing

1. What is the relationship of you with him/her?
um..tuition mates? we sat side by side during BM tuition...bleh..those were good times..haha

2. Your 5 impressions towards him/her.
cute! sleepy..blur..SMART!talkactive..

3. The most memorable thing she had done for you?
borrow me her Buku Sastera??haha..

4. The most memorable thing she have said to you?
"Can borrow me testpad?"

5. If she become your lover, you will...
um..i doubt tat..

6. If she become your enemy, you will...
o..hell no!

7. If she become your lover, she has to improve on...
Less blur?

8. If she become your enemy, the reason is...
I did not borrow her testpads??

9. The most desirable thing to do for her is?
hm...thinking...thinking...thinking...

10. The overall impression of her is...
Sweet...

11. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
Chatterbox?Irritating?:P

12. The character of you for yourself is?
*insert comments here*

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
Vain?

14. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Be Myself...muahahaha..

15. For the people who care about and likes you, say something about them.
Thank you for caring me n liking me...*this sounds soo cliche*

Ten people to tag.
1. Joey
2. Sue Ping
3. Jesslyn
4.Yue Mun
5. Daryl
6. Jiam
7. Anthony
8. Koon Rui
9. Yew Fai
10. Sao Wen

Who is number 2 having a relationship with?
no one..i think?

Is number 3 a male of a female?
Female

If number 7 and 10 were together would it be a good thing?
i seriously doubt it..if they were, they are GAYS!! n i noe that one of them is in LOVE..

How about number 5 and 8?
*same comment*

What is number 1 studying about?
Sec 1..

Is number 4 single?
Nope!

Say something about 6?
the BLUE AMOEBA!!muahaha..owh ya..she's Royalty...

9?
um...English-ed??

Finding..

2008-09-27T21:02:00.005+08:00

Listening to Sarah Brightman's songs brought back memories.
Reading my friends' blogs reminded me of the time i had.
Browsing through your profile made me recall of the times we had.

empty.

A shell that is lifeless and void of feelings.

i have to leave Reality.
Escape back into the Realms of Dreams,
Swim back in to Ocean of Memories,

to seek what i lost,
to seek what i have missed,
to seek the soul that i left behind..

In the

Harsh and brutal Reality.
Sweet and Comforting Ocean of Memories.
Unsure and Confuse Realm of Dreams.
i have to hunt for you again.

for you,
make me recall the times i had,
make me remember the feelings i once owned,
make me feel this wonderful feeling again..

~*~

Aha..
i have found you at last.

..Now i can sleep in peace..

Of Brothers&Sisters and Friends

2008-09-26T21:47:00.002+08:00

After a long overdue promise to my juniors back in CHS,my beloved Sec. School, i decided to pay them a visit, since it was the term break and i have lots of extra time to kill..

So i contacted ShihShin & SuePing up, telling them i be dropping by CHS this Friday(26/9). I begged SuePing to stay back and asked ShihShin to help me gather up all the new AJKs, as i freaking miss them all along with my buddies..^^

No sooner had i finished that conversation with them online, came CY's call asking whether wanna go out or not, as she was her holidays also. I pondered alwhile and told her that i be going to CHS on Friday and asked her to join me but i told her that i can only leave at 2pm.She said sure and all was done and sweet.

Friday came..
i picked CY up at her house at 12pm. Drove to CHS. Parking took forever. After registering our names at the guard house, we went our separate ways. She went to look for E while i went to the girls' canteen to meet up with my buddies.

SuePing,YenTeng was there. I wanted to hug SuePing but i doubt she want it in public so i gave her a little hug then turn to hug YenTeng. Man, i really miss both of them soo much..its like ages since i last met them, though i chat with SuePing in MSN often but nothing meant more then seeing them in person and talking to them.

The juniors were busy with their studies and the gathering was quite short. Man,JiaJun looked soo mature now! soo different from the one that i know last year. ShiYan and KaiSein both looked the same but the way they talked, its soo different, it sounded like they were really grown up.
Noted this is not a critique that meant they were childish before..

i asked for the new creative comic,JiaJun rushed to the seniroom to get it, the girls left as the Seni paper was about to start. i followed ShiYan to the room and saw that students were sitting there starting on their test, so i turned and walked away,JiaJun came running to me with the comic in his hand, i thanked him and he said he got to go for the test too. So i bid him good luck and goodbye.

back at the canteen,it was decided that SuePing,YenTeng and me will go to see ShihShin sing in the choir room at the sports complex. However, i met Pn Chin on the way and i stopped by and have a little chat. She looked younger, maybe because of her new hairstyle?haha..she thought i am studyin in S'pore and i told her i be going there for my Degree course but just then the auntie at the photostating shop interrupted and, thus, ended our conversation.

i rushed to the choir room but met SuePing and YenTeng waiting for me beside the hall. We walked up the stairs. YenTeng asked SuePing to leave us for alwhile as he got some things he wanted to talk to me. So SuePing left and we chatted. am not going to talk about the matters we discussed here because of what we promised,Brothers' honor..haha...

Few minutes later, a disgruntled E called me and asked me to hurry up as she n CY was waiting by the guard house. i told SuePing and YenTeng about it. They were not happy about it and asked me to stay back and accompany them. Thus, i was in a really bad situation. One side was my friends waiting for me to go to Midvalley with them, while on the other side was, one my Sister and,other, my Brother,my best buddies,both i can never live without. man, it was tough..and the next few miss calls did not really help me solve the situation.

In the end, i told my Sister and Brother that i really have to go but i quoted

" both sides are the flesh on my hand"

what should i do?

Soon,another call came and,a very irritated, E lectured me to go n meet them ASAP..so i have literally no choice to leave my Bro n Sis behind and headed for the guard house..

DAMN!!!i hate this..it's not fun doin this..my mood for a movie at Midvalley evaporated immediately after i entered my car. What's more the jam outside CHS was not helping. Both of them were agitated as CY forgotten to ask A,another friend,who's at Midvalley shopping at the time, to get one extra ticket for E's friend. However, i could not really care less about all of this.What i really care was what SuePing and YenTeng think and whether they were seriously mad at me for dumping them..*i knew that they were not too happy about me dumping them though*

Parked at Midvalley's basement and rushed up to the cinema as fast as we could. There we met A n her BF, and CY headed for the popcorn stand to get some drinks n food for the movie. We were watching "Mamma Mia".

Before entering the cinema, i called SuePing and YenTeng. SuePing did not pick up but i manage to speak to YenTeng saying that i am really really REALLY SORRY for dumping them. However, i composed a message full of 'Sorries' and sent to them.

Throughout the movie, all i can think of was, whether am i being forgiven and pray that they will not be soo pissed with me that they would want to severe any connections to me anymore..it really tormented me..

The movie was,actually, really good despite me feeling down. "Mamma Mia" is,sort of like a musical with songs from ABBA. The songs in the movie blended nicely into the plot and each song was an extension of what the character wanted to express in the show without being to mushy and long-winded.

i will leave the movie's review for now but i promise to give it justice soon.

my handphone never left my hands and i kept checking whether did SuePing or YenTeng replied my messages or calls.As the end of the movie approaches, i left the cinema and headed for the washroom with E,CY,A n A'sBF. After that, i called SuePing and YenTeng,again, to apologize.

After seeing E n A'sBF off the KTM, we left Midvalley. i drove A to Taman Jaya. It was pouring after dropping A off at A n W..The journey home was quiet. i did not speak much and CY was changing the songs in my Ipod to her leisure. DAMN,i felt restless.

Upon reaching home, i dropped my stuffs and headed out for dinner with my parents at the nearby steamboat.

..Man,only now i realise how much SuePing and YenTeng actually meant to me..

Random stuff

2008-09-05T19:11:00.002+08:00

Biodata
First Name –Chay Jiang
Nickname - CJ
Name you wish you had –Hmm…Never thought of it…like the name I have now…
What do people normally mistake your name as – ‘Dragon Chicken Goat’(Chinese)…Auspicious name ya know…a combination of zodiac animals…
Birthday -15 October
Birthplace - Klang
Time of Birth – Too young that time..don’t know how to tell time yet…
Single or taken – Currently single…anyone interested? XD
Zodiac Sign – Libra.

Your Appearance
How tall are you – 183cm…never thought I’m that tall…
Wish you were taller –I’m happy with my current height,thanks…
Eye color - brown
Eye color you want-hmm…acid green would be nice…sapphire blue could be cool too…
Natural hair color –Black
Current hair color – Black
Short or long hair – Short and long…get the term?
Dye your hair a bizarre color – Actually thought of dying it red last time but then nah…too awkward..
Last time you did something dramatic with you hair –‘Shaved’ it because of National Service…Glasses or contacts - Glasses
Do you wear make-up –no…
Ever had hair extensions –no…never thought of having that
Paint your nails –no…no intentions to do that…

In the opposite gender
What color eyes –brown…green…blue…
What color hair –black?hm…any color will do except for weird colored one…
Shy or Outgoing –outgoing…
Looks or personality –I will go for personality…
Sexy or Cute –can I choose sexy-ish cute??^^ *grin*
Serious or Fun –both…can be serious at times and fun…
Older or Younger than you –would prefer younger than me..
A turn on –long wavy hair…
A turn off – bad breath…ew…

FavoritesFlower –lotus…
Candy – no…don’t have oneS
ong – Oldies?
Scent – no comment
Color – purple,black,white…
Movie – all kinds actually..
Singer –actually I like all except those that sing in unheard-able lyrics
Junk food-Kitkat, and recently developed a great craving for ice-creams…
Website –this site lor..
Location – can I not say? Sounds lik FBI is tracking those who do this tag…
Animal – dog!!

Others
Flowers or Chocolates –chocolates…I like something to fill my stomach…haha
Pepsi or Coke –both actually...
Rap or Rock –neither..
School or Work –School!!!work is hectic
Love or Money –Love…
Movies or Music –music is LIFE!
Country or City – both can?
Sunny or Rainy days –rainy…more romantic..bt no thunders or lightning..just rain pouring
Have you ever Lied –who doesn't?
Hurt someone close to you –yupz…
Broke some one's heart –you never know..
Had your heart broken –once…
Wondered what was wrong with you – ya..all the time…
Wish you were a prince/princess – nah…m happy enough with my current situation…
Liked someone who was taken –T.T..tends to happen to me..
Shaved your head –hm…twice I tink…once during primary and d other is during NS service Been in love -ya
Used chopsticks –yupz!
Sang in the mirror to yourself – ya…used 2
Ever cried over someone – yupz..over my NS buddies…whn I first came back…
Do you think you're attractive –no..not that narcissm
If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose -hm...i don't know..hercules??
Do you play any sports –no playing sports for me…but I do swim^^

Frustrations...

2008-09-05T16:05:00.002+08:00

fingers swollen
eyes sore
did that project with a full-hearted spirit
turned down with just a series of adding here and there..

what's wrong?
i am TIRED!!!

can i just throw it aside?

HELP ME!!!!

Of Closing Ceremony and Assignments

2008-08-31T12:28:00.004+08:00

The Beijing Olympic ended with a huge pesta on the 24th August 2008 at the Bird's Nest. It was remarkably done and i congratulate the Director, Zhang YiMou and all of those,who were involved with both the Opening and Closing.

Beijing did us ,Chinese, throughout the world, proud!

There is only one bad thing about the Closing which was of the Broadcaster that kept on zooming out and show us the stadium, instead of what is happening inside the stadium. A very bad angle and bad arrangement of broadcasting.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

On the other hand coming back to reality. Am now currently loaded with assignments from various classes.

Hardest of all was the umbrella design set by T. No complains there except that it took me a whole day to hunt for umbrellas that of right color and size, along with the purchasing of black uniPaint markers, which is a rare find in any stationary shop, if you exclude those of the Art shops that cost a fortune.

Next up,would be of A Canvas painting and Scrapbooking for Color.
S Visual Diary and Children Book ranked third in the row of assignments...

Life can never be "better"

Of Beijing's Olympics Opening.

2008-08-11T17:15:00.003+08:00

A ball of flame ran across the Bird’s Nest before the count down even begun and half-way through the stadium a hurling ball of fire came shooting down into the ground of the stadium floor. Beneath the audiences a sea of white light glowed in the dark to form two screens for the count down. Drummers hit the drums in unison and the classical sound of warring state drums echoed throughout the stadium. Then the count down begun.

Counting down…
60…
50…
40…
30…
20…
10…
9…
8…
7…
6…
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…

At ‘1’, fireworks went off throughout China and the Beijing 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony is officially launched. The drummers continued the drumming, along with the chant of an old saying by Confucious, “ Friends come from afar, how happy we are.”

Just then, lights went out and the drumsticks held by the drummers emitted glowing red lights that looked like firecrackers in their hands. The sea of white turned into a myriad of glowing red lights. The lights came back and was lighting up the drummers excited expressions as they finished their queue in the Opening Ceremony.

The audiences were, then, brought through the Imperial Axis of Beijing on a screen. Fireworks blasted through the night sky in 1 minute separation. Being operated to represent the shape of a Foot. 29 great footsteps walked along the axis, from the Forbidden City to Tiananmen Square then into the Bird’s Nest, Beijing’s National Stadium.

Back inside the stadium, the 5 rings of Olympics glowed brightly in the black surrounding. From above 20 Apsaras came floating down around the rings that was slowly being lifted off the ground into an upright position. At the far end of the stadium came a sweet and melodious voice that came from a little girl in a vivid red dress. Singing ‘Hymn to my Country’, she smiled and stood upright. 56 children representing China’s ethnic groups held the flag of China to the flagpoles in the other end, where soldiers in green stood attentively. Upon receiving the flag from the children, they marched to the flagpole and raised it while China’s national anthem was being played. Reaching the top of the flagpole, the flag moved freely in the breeze that circulates the stadium and more fireworks went off on the roof of the Bird’s Nest.

Into the Artistic section for the Opening, a short film was being played on the screen describing the methods of paper making and drawings from only water and ink. As the film ended, out came a giant scroll in the middle of the stadium. Dancers, dressed in black, waved their arms on the blank canvas while a musician, dressed in Hans costume, played the gu qing behind them. A stroke from here and there, they danced to the ancient melody of the gu qing. A mountain soon appeared on the canvas along with a river. All the while, the scroll around them shone with images of ancient artifacts unearthed throughout the years. The finished product of the canvas was hoisted into the air for all to see and the lights around the stadium and on the scroll dimmed.

Their entrances were marked with loud footsteps and the folding of bamboo scrolls. Men in tall feathered-headdress and long grayish white robe marched into the stadium, each holding a bamboo scroll in their hands. The 3000 disciplines of Confucius bowed in unison as though paying homage and respect to their teacher and started chanting a famous Chinese proverb that sounded, “All those within the Four Seas can be considered as His brothers.”, all the time rolling and unrolling the bamboo scrolls to form tapping sounds. Behind them the scroll now opened to show the printing blocks of Chinese characters in square formation. As the chant of the proverb grew louder, the blocks moved up and down like the waves. Slowly forming the word “He” in both ancient and simplified versions. The end of the chant came when the blocks stop moving and displayed the image of Great Wall of China. Not long after, cherry blossoms bloomed across the printing blocks, showing the audiences a sea of pink. When everyone thought that the blocks were generated by machine, out came performers from beneath the blocks waving at the crowd, smiling.

Next, an entourage of musicians on a squared-platform performing the traditional music of the Peking Opera whilst four puppeteers danced around with their miniature puppets. The platform, was carried by performers dressed in warm-brown, entered a enclosure of lemon yellow. The performers forming that enclosure wore the costumes of a Xiao Er character in Peking Operas. They stood there and out of the blue laughed their hearts out when the music went off. The lights dimmed once again.

Out came a dancer on top of the canvas, suspending in the air by those that supported them underneath it. She was draped in yellow and green silk with a majestic yellow ornament, in the shape of a mini-vase, on her hands were the extensions of green and yellow silk. She waved them in the air in a way that acrobats do, both majestic and artistic. As she dances, images of the Silk Road of China was screened across the scroll, depicting camels, porcelain vases and tradable items.

Men in blue came running out from the far end of the stadium holding big planks of yellow boards. Upon connecting the boards, images of old ship appeared on the boards. The moved the planks up and down, imitating the waves on the sea. A dancer dressed in gold, orange and yellow walked onto the canvas and started using the ancient compass, created by the Chinese. This was the Maritime Silk Road. The Chinese character of ‘Cha’, Tea, was shown on the scroll, notifying the audiences that one of the well-known tradable items of the olden China was tea aside from silk. The final formation for the men, holding the planks, was of a ship-shaped image on the floor of the stadium. Again, the lights that danced on the ground went off.

When it came up again, it showed the interior of a Dynasty’s courtroom, with rows and rows of imperial women dressed in blue, yellow, orange and red and guards guarding the exterior of it. At the top of the pillars sat musicians, in vibrant colors, playing the pipa. Court music was played and the women walked in gracefully as they would have done in the olden days. Meanwhile images on the scroll showcased Tang dynasty imperial women. The lighting effects were extravagant. As the entourage came to a halt in the middle of the court, the pillars rose into the air as the lights around them were switched off. Dragons’ images came soaring up to the sky, as the pillar continues to go upwards, emitting golden lights of their own.

The group of performers walked away as the lights came up again to show a little girl and the famous pianist, LangLang, with a piano. The little girl played a small note as LangLang corrected her. Soon he was playing a masterpiece while she sits there looking on. Men in green suit came rushing out and surrounded themselves around the piano. They wore lights around them and switched it on as they ran about forming a Dove. Those that were involve in the wings section moved up and down showing that the Dove is taking flight. Not long after they came crowding themselves, once again, near the piano and formed a miniature Bird’s Nest. Standing in position for about 5 minutes, as a little girl floated across them with a kite in her hand, then, they began to slowly glide away into the darkness as the lights on them went off upon them reaching the sides of the stadium.

A white light shone the centre stage of the canvas, showing a Taichi master practicing TaiChi Quan. Around him glass walls were held up and a few other Taichi practitioners went with the rhythm. The glass walls showed colors of green, white and rich yellow behind the practitioners. At the blink of the eye, the glass walls were removed and thousand came running into the stage and formed a humongous circle around the canvas. School children now occupied the canvas, they sat, in a way as they would during lessons in school and listened attentively to the ‘teacher’ before them. The circle formation around them shifted and the performers ran around the canvas forming a different kind of formation, which represents the Heaven is circle whilst the Earth is square. On the canvas, the children colored the previously drawn artwork with colors of blue and green.

Few minutes later, the taichi performers left the stage as they eyed three astronaut that came floating down from above. The children, packed and ready to go home, looked at them happily and cheered on. The canvas was moved aside and a globe came protruding from beneath the stage’s surface in the color of blue. Performers were hung around the globe as the globe changes to the color of Earth, they ran across it in unison. The globe changed from blue-green to yellow then to red as the walls of the Bird’s Nest showed images of the solar system and more. At the tip of the globe, came two figures. Sarah Brightman and Liu Huan emerged on the globe and sang the Olympics theme song, “You and I” to the cheers of the crowd. Half way through thousands of smile faces shone around the stage as performers held up high images of the smiles of children all over the world on umbrellas.

The fireworks went off again as the end of the Artistic section of the Opening Ceremony. It was now the time for the athletes to march into the stadium. A total of 204 countries entered this year’s Olympics, starting with Greece and ending with China. The sequence of the athletes entering the stadium was according to the Chinese number of strokes for the first Chinese character of that nation. As they walk into the centre stage, the athletes walked across a multi-colored inkpad and onto the canvas, leaving multi-colored footprints on it. After an hour or so, speeches were made and oaths taken by judges and athletes and the President of China announced the official launching of the Beijing Olympics to the World with a booming voice.

Lastly came the lighting of the Olympic Cauldron. After about 6 or more torch bearers, the one who have the honor to light the Cauldron was of Li Ning, a famous gymnast and a National’s Sport Icon. He was lifted above the ground and into the skies. There he ran along the stadium wall, with it unrolling pictures after pictures of sportsmanship and the torch relay. The much anticipated Cauldron took the shape of a Chinese Scroll, stood majestically at the intersection of the stadium. With a single touch from the fire of his, the Cauldron was lit, thus, marking the starting of the Olympics in China.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I actually cried as I was watching the whole event LIVE. The beauty of the ceremony and the effort and hard work behind it, of how the people of China or the Chinese population around the World dreamt of hosting the auspicious Olympic Games.

It is truly China at Her BEST! Zhang YiMou did a marvelous job and I urged those who never heard of this great man, go watch some of his directed movies, such as ‘House of Flying Daggers’, ‘Hero’, ‘Curse of the Golden Flower’ and much more.

The next host will have a hard time catching up to China’s Opening Ceremony.

Lastly,

GOOD LUCK BEIJING 2008!!

‘BEIJING HUAN YING NI’

Of #$@%&X's

2008-08-03T09:36:00.003+08:00

...XXXxxxxxx........xxxxxxXXX.....XXXxxxx.....xxxxXXXX........XXXxxxxx.......xxxxxXXX.....

I HATE PEOPLE,WHO ACTS LIKE A WANNABE...

I HATE PEOPLE THAT RUNS TO SOMEONE ONLY WHEN THEY NEEDED HELP...

I HATE PEOPLE DITCHING FRIENDS FOR PERSONAL GAIN...

I HATE PEOPLE,WHICH PUTS ON A MASK AND NEVER LET YOU KNOW THE TRUTH...

I HATE PEOPLE MAKING OTHER PEOPLE FEEL BAD IN FRONT OF EVERYONE...

...XXXxxxxxx........xxxxxxXXX.....XXXxxxx.....xxxxXXXX........XXXxxxxx.......xxxxxXXX......

just decided to freakin' express my unhappiness for the past forthnight...
bear with me please...

Chapter 1: Eve

2008-07-16T18:43:00.002+08:00

It is the Eve before He departs for the dreaded place.
It will be the Eve when His life changes forever.
It is, also, the Eve that He will leave home for a period of time.

Silently,
He packs his luggage.
Three pile of clothing,
A bagful of toiletries,
A dozen of hangers,
A pack of medicine,
A metal cup,
An alarm clock,
And a few pack of nutrition drinks.

In a corner, inside the bluish bag with graffiti smudges across it.
A pencil case,
An exercise book,
Two mini notebooks,
And two storybooks.

On the glass table,
A computer stood in the right-hand corner of it.
Pieces of paper go astray on the gleaming surface.
Beneath the pile of papers hid a blue pen, which He used earlier on.

Just few minutes ago,
He inked a few documents with that pen.
He filled each section with disgust and hatred.
Questioning Himself what had he done to deserve this.

Half an hour later,
Luggage done
Documents done

The stroke of midnight came unexpected
He lay in the queen-size bed and stared at the ceiling
Readily and willingly
He slumbered.

Tomorrow will be a new day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: Still alive and breathing.Sorry for not updating often nowadays because assignments are taking up most of my daily life. Well, as promised this would be my first chapter for my mini-novel of my National Service days. Enjoy :)

Funny Feeling...

2008-06-13T12:10:00.002+08:00

Recently,my assignments are piling up on my table and each time it gets hard still to manage and to get my lecturer's approval on my work.Aikz..life's been tough..

Also, recently i went into a deep state of health concern.It all started with my unusual sorethroat and ulcers.The usual sorethroat i have would be of those situated near my thonsers,please excuse my wrong spelling of that word,do not have much knowledge on that,but this time the sore happens at night and in the middle of my throat.

For the past few days that freaking pain is roaming around my throat,from the middle section to the right then to the left and finally my whole throat.However pain only occurs when i'm swallowing my saliva,which is funny because the usual sorethroat would prevent me from even taking in food and water.

I went to the nearby clinic to have a check-up and to my astonishment,the doctor mentioned that my thonsers are quite red and he said that my sorethroat might be due to virus infection.I took the medicine home and started taking it on regular basis,just like what the doctor told me to.It never really helped with the sorethroat.

I panicked.My ulcers are less painful as days go by,however the sign of recovery seems unclear.I used all kinds of medicine on it but only the pain subsided and not the scaring.Only a week or so later,which is this few days,my ulcers begun to subside.Thank God!!

Aside from that,I was kinda in a very depressing mood for the past few days.It kinda lifted alittle when my throat begun to feel better.I don't know what is making me feel this way but it really bugs me.Because with that hanging over me,I can't seem to concerntrate on anything.What's more I am losing appetite for food!I hate this feeling but the more I fight against it the more resistence it seems to have on me.

It was then i started to get hallucinations that I might be having some really serious illness and might fall dead anytime.I told my mum and a few friends about it and their answers were identical.'You are stressed out with assignments and you are thinking too much!'That really did help me change my feeling towards my feelings.

However today my feelings is once again tested when i weight-ed my side on the scales earlier this morning.I lost 1 kg overnight,how is that possible?Then a perfect morning i thought it would be was spoilt by this really unpleasant feeling.DAMN!!I really want to straighten up myself and face the world ASAP and not being pulled down by this desprate feeling.There are chores to be done and assignments to rush.Around 11am i can't stand the feeling and i weight-ed myself on scales again and this time the results are unclear.73kg at first but then i weight-ed again 74kg.I am thinking is my mind playing a game on me or is the scales going haywire?

So i decided to take a chinese med. pill to calm myself down.That would be the terrible effect of depression on one's life and i am not going to let it do that again.Never Ever!

A Step closer to Adulthood..

2008-05-16T16:07:00.002+08:00

16th May.
Today is the day when my skills are being put into a test that will affect my life..*abit too dramatic don't u think?* Because today i will be taking my Driving Test!!!

Yes,DRIVING test!!haha..i was so anxious to get a license that i have been spending sleepless night just thinking of what might happen if i really flunk that test,well the logical way would be to re-sit it but then i really don't have the time to do so cause most of my time now is devoted to my course and also housework.

So i slept at 9pm on 15th,abit too early for me,i would say,and i spent a dreamless night which is really nice cause i usually be awakened by my dreams easily.However,i woke up at 4am.Why?Because i felt that my handphone vibrated during the night but i was just too tired to be even bother to check what or who messaged me.It turns out that my instincts were right!My Moral lecturer texted me informing me that 16th, which is today,there will be a replacement class for Moral as she will not be around from the start of next week.I drafted a text to be send to her later on in the morning then went back to sleep.It wasn't about 7am in the morning i was woke up by the knock on my door.

My driving instructor came around 7.30am to pick me up along with 2 other pupils of his to the circuit where we will be taking our test.We queued up to get our numbers.i was given the number 64.We later proceeded to the waiting area to wait for our numbers to be announced to go for the circuit test.About 30 minutes later,63,64 and 68 were called,we followed a few more others to the pondok,where the cars are being parked.We were actually debating on which car would bring us luck but in the end we each settled for a car that was parked just in front of us.i was the second up the hill after the boy and the girl was behind me.In my mind, i was thinking,"please let me pass,PLEASE let me PASS!!" along with chants of prayer to
God.i was actually shivering when i reached the top where the front tyres should meet with the yellow lines.I braked when i saw the pole and raised my hand.The officer at the stand was smiling away and asked me carried on with my reverse-parking and tri-point turn.The parking was fine but at the tri-point turn section, i was panicking.I turned into the junction and just when i was suppose to be out from that place,my car would not budge.i was thinking, "Please!God help me!!i don't want to fail!!" and miraculousy when i tried to re-enter the gear to reverse,it worked!i came out from the tri-point section smoothly after that and parked next to the pondok where the next candidate took the car for another round.

The boy before me did really good,unfortunately,the girl that was behind me did not pass the hill test and was therefore asked to leave the circuit along with her documents for the stamping part at the waiting area.We later waited for about 3 hours or so for the on-road test.By the time our numbers were called,only the boy managed to drive around the road before lunch break whereas the girl and me will take the test straight after the lunch break.So we waited for another 1 hour for the lunch break to end.i was called first and broaded the number 14 car.It was a Chinese officer unlike the other cars which mostly consist of Malay officers.He was stern and was silent throughout the journey but he kinda lectured me when i ran past the traffic lights.But nevertheless it was smooth all the way.He awarded me 17/20 which means i PASSED!!!Yipe!!He deducted marks for not putting on the signals early and other 2 more reasons which i forgotten.Later my instructor told me that the officer that examined me was really strict and is always the one that will never give you a chance to go throught the shortcuts.In my mind,i was thinking i should be grateful for being able to pass under the supervision of this officer.

I waited for the girl to complete the test and then we headed home.My instructor informed me that i will be receiving my "P" license in Thursday,can't wait to get on the road already.Hahaha.

For me,getting a license or even a "P" is another step closer to Adulthood already and i am satisfy with myself.

PS:i have been really busy and did not update my blog often.Not to mention the story that i promised about my NS life.Sorry but i will do it as soon as possible..

New Life!!

2008-04-13T18:31:00.004+08:00

nothing much have changed since my last post, excpet that i am currently attending college at Raffles Design Insitute and that the assignments are really killing me..i am kind of confused on what is my current mood actually. i rarely feel happy now,no idea why though. Maybe it is because of my new sedechule or..maybe i still can't get over the fact that i am already free from National Service and that i seriously miss my buddies there..

but my new Life is starting and the Past are either meant to be cherished or forgotten,i presume i will cherish the good times and forget the bad times...

so my shoutout for now is:

"NEW LIFE AHEAD!"

.EMBRACE IT AND FACE ITS CHALLENGES.

kinda retarded lar but that should do the trick. :D

PS: if i have the time, which i really hope i do, i will be posting stories of my life in National Service. It will be in Chapter form so it is kinda like a novel lar..i do really hope i be able to get the first chapter up latest by the end of next week...

Nostalgic : National Service

2008-03-27T22:36:00.009+08:00

I feel alone in this big and dimly-lit room with only the light from the lamp on the wooden side table. Though this was the room that I unwillingly parted with, but because of the damn piece of paper that was sent to me.

*~*

70 days, it was spent in a training camp near the city of Ayer Keroh in Malacca. I remember that I used to dread every minute in there. However I am not alone. I still have my wacky, yet, caring roommates to pour my woes to, if I am feeling particularly down or moody.

As I started to recall all those happy memories, my heart aches of the pain that I have

been enduring for the past fortnight…

Remembering vividly when I was taken ill in camp, all of you were concerned of the state of my health and urged me to go to the Medical Centre, eventhough all of us knew that the staff there were heartless towards us trainees, for a checkup. As I sat there inside of the Medical Centre, I knew that all of you were by my side, though not physically but mentally, supporting me. I re-emerged from the Medical Centre to find that most of you have left but still one waited. We rushed back, as fast as we could, to our dormitory and get changed for marching.

Not forgetting that when I was crying on the doorstep of our dormitory, you were there by my side. Passersby laughed at my weaken spirit but you did not. You stood by me and offer me words of comfort, easing the pain of my serious homesick.

There were also times when we would splash water to each other while taking a shower in the bathroom through the top of the cubicle. Being playful, I would also took away your pants and towel until you came yelling for it. Those were the good times.

Of all the good times, there was once when I argued with you.

It was shortly after the rehearsal of the Dikir Barat performance. I was angry because you had not waited for me in the Hall and left for the dormitory early. The moment I came back in the dormitory I confronted you about it. You said that you did not see me signaling you to wait for me. I, however, stood my grounds and stated that I clearly signaled you and your head was turning towards the stage, the location that I was having the rehearsals. The atmosphere was really tense. We ended up not speaking to each other as I accused you of not caring about our friendship and all. I was a stubborn ox and did not want to listen to your explanations. I thought that our friendship would end just like that, what with a few days left till we go our separate ways in life. Fortunately, during that night’s roll call, I confronted you again and our conversation was overheard by another. He told me that you left the Hall with him. You also told me that during the rehearsal, you were not paying attention to me but to someone else on the stage, who is doing funny acts throughout the rehearsal. As I cooled down and thought carefully. It could be true that you are not paying attention to me but that does not explain why when I signaled and you nodded. What we concluded was that my eyesight is getting worst and not seeing things properly.

*~*

With the duration of our training coming to an end, we eagerly talked about life after National Service. In the midst of all these, I felt slightly discouraged at the thought of leaving all of you and embrace the freedom outside the guarded walls. Although the temptation of leaving this torturing place was great, I still feel that the bond we had will weaken once we set foot out into the freedom we longed. Living in totally different places makes me feel that even organizing an annual gathering, for us, would have been hard and troublesome .

That day finally came. We were about to leave this place forever and going to different paths of life. I felt singled out from the enthusiasm that all of you were having upon reaching your home sweet homes. It was not that I did not miss my family, friends and my home dearly but the thought of losing contact with all of you tormented me.

Eventually we all left the camp at different times. For a fortnight I have been sms-ing and calling a few of you just to stay in contact. At first all of you replied my messages and answered my call. As time goes by those messages did not return and the calls went unanswered. I told myself that you all are probably busy with college applications and other important stuff.

*~*

There are times when I would just lay in bed and think about the good times we have been through together in that dreaded place, I once called ‘home’. Tears would usually follow.

The loneliness that I am going through now is unlike the homesick feeling that I have been through in camp. This is the painful feeling of emptiness.

However I would like to thank You for painting a whole new chapter so wonderfully in my life.

I will never forget You, Roommies of Dorm 37, Kumpulan 1 Siri 5/2008,

Kem Hutan Rekreasi Ayer Keroh, Melaka…

<<-Piong, Gerald, ET, Kiong & CK- <<<>>>-Dorm 37's Captain, Ah Kiat- >>

Journey: 38 days ago...

2008-02-06T23:16:00.000+08:00

It’s been 38 days since i last…

…pressed my fingers on the keyboard of a computer.
…saw my cosy bedroom.
…felt the ever-familiar atmosphere that circulates around me.

38 days ago i was…

…in Kem Hutan Rekreasi Ayer Keroh, Malacca left another mark in my life.
…undergoing Character Building Classes,Physical Training,Physical Module.
…meeting new friends.

38 days,in the camp was marked with grief,happiness,eagerness,nervousness,curiosity and many more feelings that i cannot even describe through pen and paper.

A totally new environment, new social circle,new activities and extra special events filled my days in my 1 month and 1 week of training in Kem Hutan Rekreasi Ayer Keroh, Malacca.There was the meeting of new friends,knowing coaches,recognizing rules and familiarizing with the new surrounding.

To start this post with i will firstly introduce my, friendly,charming,adorable,‘chun’ and ever-awesome,Roomies of Room 37:

-E.T. [the self-proclaimed ‘Alien’ from the planet, Jupiter]
-Ah. Jun [better known as C.K. aka Calvin Klein *snickers*]
-Kiat [our big ‘brother’ in room 37]
-Gerald [the Joker, Narcissist of room 37]
-Piong [Jay Chou’s fan!!]
-‘Yao Ming’ [the tallest guy in the camp]

…they were the ones, who, brightens my days in the fenced-up surrounding.They cracked jokes anywhere, concern about my health, and lend me a helping hand when i needed it…

The Coaches there were really friendly and nice to us but, mind you, they can be really serious when there is thing to be done or during training sessions.Not to mention our Big ‘Daddy’ of the camp, our beloved Commander of our camp.

The foods there were terrible and unbearable but what to do?What they serve you have to eat or,else,go hungry for the whole day and black-out during marching or assemblies.

Overall the 38 days that i have spent there was really ‘chuned’ but i will be enjoying the 5 days of precious holidays for the Chinese New Year at home.

Last,but not least,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!

2007-11-24T16:07:00.000+08:00

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

2007-11-24T15:27:00.000+08:00

NO MORE HISTORY!!!!

NO MORE FREAKIN' HARD FACTS!!!

NO MORE HEAD-CRACKIN DIAGRAMS!!

NO MORE MEMORISING VALUES!!!

but there are still certain facts that i still need to remember to ace my 3 other subjects, namely Economic Studies,Principle Accounting and Chinese...

There is still one more subjects though, Art, need to remember anything??

The WAIT is over.

2007-11-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

Well, just like what the title meant, the WAIT is over. Last night i received a call from my friend saying that the National Service's (Program Latihan Khidmat Negara) batch selection and placement is out. He helped me to check and i am being placed in the 1st batch in Malacca's Kem Hutan Rekreasi Ayer/Air Keroh.

To double confirm it, i personally went online and check. Well, the news is TRUE! i messaged a few of my friends to let them know that the list is out. To my greatest dismay, not a single one of them is in the same camp as i am.Well i am a bit dissapointing but never mind i am going there to meet new friends and experience new things.

Today the newspaper is extra larger, what with the usual news sections , another bonus is added. The big and THICK NS list...Without much consideration, i make a quick glance in that list to find my name. It is in the list of the 1st batch but there is not a single mention of the place or camp that i am chosen to. That is okay because i know in the net. The next thing i know, i am rushing to my laptop and enter the NS's website and type in the my IC no again and triple check. The same result...

Well i am now waiting for my buddies to reply me and letting me know which batch they are in and where they are being sent to...

Cheers

Nostalgic : Graduation

2007-11-01T17:43:00.000+08:00

At last
that day arrives
what most of us have been waiting for...

Graduation

We entered the hall with great enthusiasm
Receiving certificates
Singing songs of joys...
Approximately 12pm or so,
Auld Lang Syne flooded the interior of the Hall...

Then,
i remembered the good times we had throughout the 5 years of High School...
i remembered the gossips we enjoyed...
i remembered the bickering and sneering we had to endure in times of difficultly...
i remembered the time we comforted each other over a bad report card...
i remembered the time we argued...
i remembered the time we apologized...

It was also then i looked to both my sides.
You are all singing Auld Lang Syne with the great spirit, that we should have,
and whole heartedly...
It struck me that we might not meet again...

Tears soon filled my eyes,
as they started to pour.
i can feel hands on my back,
comforting me,
asking me to be strong…

However,
i could not be the guy that you
used to see,
used to jeer at,
used to shout words of disagreement of decision at,
used to joke with,
used to tease at,
used to be strong…
i am sorry…

As we departed the Hall,
all of You put an arm around me.
Just to comfort me,
and to let me know that i have a shoulder to lie on.

We entered the classroom for the one last time,
i made a short, final official announcement.

The bell rang in the distance…
All of You left in a hurry…

i slowed my pace down the ever familiar corridor,
trying to recall the memories we had in this very classroom,
trying to remember the moment i was hurt by others and all of You stood by me,
trying to take in what I have left behind.

With
a little pat from You
woke me up,
You said we are going
to Midvalley to celebrate
later to Sunway for dinner.
i smiled and followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Dearest Classmates,

It was because of You,
that made a day in CHS worth remembering,

It was also You,
that made me who i am today,
no longer the stuck-up one,
no longer the arrogance one,
no longer the fool i used to be.

And
for this i thank You.

Somewhat Boring Holiday EVER!!!

2007-06-02T13:35:00.000+08:00

This two weeks holiday have been sort of a torture chamber for me. Well the first week of the holiday is coming to an end and so far nothing much has happened, if you counted numerous of tuitions at a time and having to do house chores and coaching the children choir for the upcoming competition.

boring, boring and boring...

However i am looking forward to watch PotC 3 and maybe Shrek 3. Yay! So far this is the first outing with my buddies during the holidays. Then is off to restart my studies for the remaining examination, somehow I think that there is one remaining folio that was not given to us before the holidays.

Night after the Rainfall

2007-05-06T17:47:00.000+08:00

It was just like any other night, the insect buzzing, the mossy grass glow in the dark ,after a heavy rainfall, made them looked like little diamonds in the night,

I sat down here, writing no doubt as the cool air breeze blew towards me, occasionally I stare up to find my Rottweiler sniffing around the garden pots or barking at passersby. With my Walkman Sony Ericsson W700i playing ‘Lion King 2 : He Lives in You’ , this is when I finally find peace after a continuation of tuitions for four days.

The rain just subsided not long ago and I can still hear the dripping drops of water from my neighbor’s verandah, along with it making pleasant natural melody. My parents were not at home yet, my mum went out with both my aunt and grandma around an hour ago and my dad would be possibly in his office rushing away his latest project. My sister would probably be sitting in the T.V. room browsing through the range of television programme that will be broadcasting throughout the night. My maid, however, would be snoozing in her bedroom now.

I sat here, in the quiet surrounding of my house. I never did appreciate the coolness of the aftermath of the rain atmosphere as I usually stuck myself in my study room, reading, no doubt. I felt one with the environment, I am not being poetic or anything but this is the very first time I sat outside of my house doing my revision.

‘ Ring…Ring…Ring…’

My mum just called. She asked me to join them for dinner at the Seafood Restaurant, about 5 minutes walk from my house. I rejected. Here in the city, you do not really have the time to relax even though you are only a student in secondary. I used to live in a little town, called Happy Garden. No not that Happy Garden in Overseas Union Garden, but in Klang.

During those days I will be playing or just chit chattering away with my next door playmate, no doubt planning our next adventurous venture into the unknown areas of our neighborhood. The number 155 terrace house was shabby but it was warm and cozy, what is more, it was my childhood crib. Back in the good old days when what is happening next door would be part of your business too ,was no longer here in the city. Here in the city, what you have is only your family and your own possessions.

Dull.

It is half past nine now. I usually felt dizzy and no doubt, sleepy around this time. Somehow I never felt this calm and serene, that’s what makes me fully awake. I found a place, a place that will enables me to feel the warmth of the once shabby terrace house of mine. Feeling away from all the troubles, the hectic city life and the overloading homework.

This is the time when I like to sit somewhere comfortable and starts to write a personal monolog. It helped me to release my tensions and stress of the busy city life…

- memories of mine -

15/3

120111 - Dedication to You~

Deep thoughts

06012011

030111

21122010

20122010

18122010

16122010

tired

And more Updates

Updates

Of YOG and the new life in Singapore

I Once Had a Dream...

时光飞速

Rants and What's not

entry 100525

update in mere minutes.

oh my goodness..

Is SICK~

131009

It's raining and i can't sleep~

UPDATE!

To go or not to?

Uncondition

Your future depends on your decisions now

无常

New term!

灵感

thank you

She is the Jewel of Tibet

and YES! i am paranoid...

memories

ZOMG

到 。走

歇

Lost and Found

Of Ang Pau and Blessings

High Hopes

Long due Gathering...

So totally in LOVE!!

Bday Wishes'09

Remembering National Service Series 5/Batch 1 HRAK,Malacca

鹿不再回头.The Deer will never look back again.

$%#@!#$%$%

无言.Speechless

Summarizing Term 3

Updates

等待

妒忌

First the Car then now the Laptop are both acting up...

小丑

12112008

Cry

哭

---

22102008

201008

Officially IT!!

Wonderful Day that ended F***inly

UNGU + Monster = very very RANDOM post

音乐飘满天! @ Let there be Music!

女人何苦为难女人@Women,why must you hurt me so?

。爱。恨 。恋 。

记事本@Diary

081008

Summarizing Term 2

A night made SPECIAL by you GUYZ..

Tag by SuePing

FANTASTIC @ the Highlands

Taggy

Finding..

Of Brothers&Sisters and Friends

Random stuff

Frustrations...

Of Closing Ceremony and Assignments

Of Beijing's Olympics Opening.

Of #$@%&X's

Chapter 1: Eve

到。走

。爱。恨。恋。