I feel alone in this big and dimly-lit room with only the light from the lamp on the wooden side table. Though this was the room that I unwillingly parted with, but because of the damn piece of paper that was sent to me.
*~*
70 days, it was spent in a training camp near the city of Ayer Keroh in Malacca. I remember that I used to dread every minute in there. However I am not alone. I still have my wacky, yet, caring roommates to pour my woes to, if I am feeling particularly down or moody.
As I started to recall all those happy memories, my heart aches of the pain that I have
*~*
70 days, it was spent in a training camp near the city of Ayer Keroh in Malacca. I remember that I used to dread every minute in there. However I am not alone. I still have my wacky, yet, caring roommates to pour my woes to, if I am feeling particularly down or moody.
As I started to recall all those happy memories, my heart aches of the pain that I have
been enduring for the past fortnight…
Remembering vividly when I was taken ill in camp, all of you were concerned of the state of my health and urged me to go to the Medical Centre, eventhough all of us knew that the staff there were heartless towards us trainees, for a checkup. As I sat there inside of the Medical Centre, I knew that all of you were by my side, though not physically but mentally, supporting me. I re-emerged from the Medical Centre to find that most of you have left but still one waited. We rushed back, as fast as we could, to our dormitory and get changed for marching.
Not forgetting that when I was crying on the doorstep of our dormitory, you were there by my side. Passersby laughed at my weaken spirit but you did not. You stood by me and offer me words of comfort, easing the pain of my serious homesick.
There were also times when we would splash water to each other while taking a shower in the bathroom through the top of the cubicle. Being playful, I would also took away your pants and towel until you came yelling for it. Those were the good times.
Of all the good times, there was once when I argued with you.
It was shortly after the rehearsal of the Dikir Barat performance. I was angry because you had not waited for me in the Hall and left for the dormitory early. The moment I came back in the dormitory I confronted you about it. You said that you did not see me signaling you to wait for me. I, however, stood my grounds and stated that I clearly signaled you and your head was turning towards the stage, the location that I was having the rehearsals. The atmosphere was really tense. We ended up not speaking to each other as I accused you of not caring about our friendship and all. I was a stubborn ox and did not want to listen to your explanations. I thought that our friendship would end just like that, what with a few days left till we go our separate ways in life. Fortunately, during that night’s roll call, I confronted you again and our conversation was overheard by another. He told me that you left the Hall with him. You also told me that during the rehearsal, you were not paying attention to me but to someone else on the stage, who is doing funny acts throughout the rehearsal. As I cooled down and thought carefully. It could be true that you are not paying attention to me but that does not explain why when I signaled and you nodded. What we concluded was that my eyesight is getting worst and not seeing things properly.
*~*
Remembering vividly when I was taken ill in camp, all of you were concerned of the state of my health and urged me to go to the Medical Centre, eventhough all of us knew that the staff there were heartless towards us trainees, for a checkup. As I sat there inside of the Medical Centre, I knew that all of you were by my side, though not physically but mentally, supporting me. I re-emerged from the Medical Centre to find that most of you have left but still one waited. We rushed back, as fast as we could, to our dormitory and get changed for marching.
Not forgetting that when I was crying on the doorstep of our dormitory, you were there by my side. Passersby laughed at my weaken spirit but you did not. You stood by me and offer me words of comfort, easing the pain of my serious homesick.
There were also times when we would splash water to each other while taking a shower in the bathroom through the top of the cubicle. Being playful, I would also took away your pants and towel until you came yelling for it. Those were the good times.
Of all the good times, there was once when I argued with you.
It was shortly after the rehearsal of the Dikir Barat performance. I was angry because you had not waited for me in the Hall and left for the dormitory early. The moment I came back in the dormitory I confronted you about it. You said that you did not see me signaling you to wait for me. I, however, stood my grounds and stated that I clearly signaled you and your head was turning towards the stage, the location that I was having the rehearsals. The atmosphere was really tense. We ended up not speaking to each other as I accused you of not caring about our friendship and all. I was a stubborn ox and did not want to listen to your explanations. I thought that our friendship would end just like that, what with a few days left till we go our separate ways in life. Fortunately, during that night’s roll call, I confronted you again and our conversation was overheard by another. He told me that you left the Hall with him. You also told me that during the rehearsal, you were not paying attention to me but to someone else on the stage, who is doing funny acts throughout the rehearsal. As I cooled down and thought carefully. It could be true that you are not paying attention to me but that does not explain why when I signaled and you nodded. What we concluded was that my eyesight is getting worst and not seeing things properly.
*~*
With the duration of our training coming to an end, we eagerly talked about life after National Service. In the midst of all these, I felt slightly discouraged at the thought of leaving all of you and embrace the freedom outside the guarded walls. Although the temptation of leaving this torturing place was great, I still feel that the bond we had will weaken once we set foot out into the freedom we longed. Living in totally different places makes me feel that even organizing an annual gathering, for us, would have been hard and troublesome .
That day finally came. We were about to leave this place forever and going to different paths of life. I felt singled out from the enthusiasm that all of you were having upon reaching your home sweet homes. It was not that I did not miss my family, friends and my home dearly but the thought of losing contact with all of you tormented me.
Eventually we all left the camp at different times. For a fortnight I have been sms-ing and calling a few of you just to stay in contact. At first all of you replied my messages and answered my call. As time goes by those messages did not return and the calls went unanswered. I told myself that you all are probably busy with college applications and other important stuff.
*~*
There are times when I would just lay in bed and think about the good times we have been through together in that dreaded place, I once called ‘home’. Tears would usually follow.
The loneliness that I am going through now is unlike the homesick feeling that I have been through in camp. This is the painful feeling of emptiness.
There are times when I would just lay in bed and think about the good times we have been through together in that dreaded place, I once called ‘home’. Tears would usually follow.
The loneliness that I am going through now is unlike the homesick feeling that I have been through in camp. This is the painful feeling of emptiness.
However I would like to thank You for painting a whole new chapter so wonderfully in my life.
I will never forget You, Roommies of Dorm 37, Kumpulan 1 Siri 5/2008,
Kem Hutan Rekreasi Ayer Keroh, Melaka…
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