21122010

Well nothing much to do during my break except to clear my room alittle and chit chat. However, i think i manage to break a new record as of today!

I am finishing Avatar: The Last Airblender cartoon series all in one day! :)

20122010

This song has been playing in my head for a long, really long, time. Since 2002, when I'm not Stupid is premiered on the shores of Malaysia.

To cut things short, this movie is, basically, talking about how Singaporean kids struggle to meet their parents' expectation, be it obedience or studies. This is also the first film where Shawn Lee and Joshua Ang were discovered to be future artistes. Well, let's get back to the song.

This song was sung by 許美嫻.

Titled, 內疚.

It is actually a really short song that was played when Guo Ping's mum, Mrs Liu, played by Xiang Yun, was admitted to the hospital due to blood cancer and Guo Ping, played by Shawn Lee, brought back his year end results to her side. Throughout the movie, you will be able to see how Guo Ping struggled to achieve the results that his mother wanted him to, so when it comes to this scene, it was a touching one as eventhough Guo Ping did not manage to get the results his mother wanted him to, Mrs Liu finally accepted the fact that her son had, indeed, tried his very best and still cannot achieve the marks she desired for.

A really touching scene on the understanding between a Mother and her Son.

The lyrics were made even more meaningful to this beautiful scene.

不斷的摸索自己 企圖改變一些歎息

我知道你對我的期許 是將來眼光的抵禦

你今日無助的詞句 都帶著明日的訊息

我知道你對我的心意 而我就是有心無力

我還有什麼可以給你，我不斷的問自己。

我不斷的想，不斷的在找尋。。。。。。

我知道你一直都辛苦 為我默默地付出

就算流淚也不承認你哭 我是身在福中不知福

所以我用盡我的全部 來告訴你我沒有認輸

還有什麼可以給你 我的爹娘我的父母

還有什麼可以給你 我的爹娘我的父母

In short, what the lyric sung about was the struggling of a child on trying to achieve what his/her mother wanted him/her to get, however, no matter how hard he/she tried he/she still can't get it, even though he/she understands what his/her parents go through and hoped for but still he/she can't achieve that goal as he/she really did tried his/her very best and it is still an average mark.

===============================================================

This song never fails to bring tears to my eyes, irregardless how many times i have heard it.

It just touched my heart in many aspects and i wish that it will touch your hearts as well. :)

Enjoy~

18122010

Just had a new haircut today at CLIPS, Klang, in preparation for

my grandpa's birthday celebration on 25th December, yes it's on christmas night.

So far the workload and duty that i was asked to handle and execute made me feel that i am actually capable of doing things aside from being a graphic designer.

I was telling a friend the other day that i am the graphic designer/ image consultant/ co-event planner/ part receptionist for this particular event.

On a side note, i feel that the new hairstyle somehow made me look alittle too goody two shoes? agree?

see for yourselves.

16122010

this is what happens when a designer is bored. XP~

Though i promised that i will update my bloggie during my term break this time around, but i think have failed miserably. The only muse that i did was to snap random images of myself, man speaking of narcism, much.

Well much have happened over the course of time, especially life in SG and now break in KL.

Will update soon~

Promise. :)

tired

just then did i realized that i am a fool from the beginning, to believe that you are willing to love me unconditionally, willing to hold my hand and cross this path together, u said u wanted to settle down with me, what happen to that now? is it all just a saying? or is it something in me that made u hate me instead of appreciating me.

i am just too naive. YES! i am really naive. i shouldn't have had any thoughts that the one that is standing in front of me now will be taking me away and be with me for a long term. Just when u said u liked me and i warmed up to u, u drifted away. My calls went unanswered, my text went unreplied. What is it that i have done wrong that made u wanted to drift away from me? can u please let me know?

all i want now is to seriously settle down. i am tired of the love game and its many entity. i am exhausted, i really am. Each morning, i would wish for that special someone to hug me or greet me, for once, feel pampered for a change but i think this is never meant to be. Like what a friend once told me, Here it is really hard for you to find True Love.

all i can do is just laugh and let it be now. i guess, i am really not meant to have love or being loved. i love myself and thats it. no others. i waited and hoped but nothing will change for i am the lonesome one.

And more Updates

Here i am trying to blog something, when tears are just flowing down my eyes. It has been like this for the past three days. First i was diagnosed with a swelling tonsils hence an outburst of fever and cold shivers, secondly i was left literally idea-less.

All of a sudden, it seems that my ideas went down the drain and was flushed out into the sea or tossed into the open air. i was left with literally no inspirations or motivation to keep moving on. Eventhough i forced myself to work on something but i don't feel the passion for it nor do i feel a piece of artwork has life in it, as quoted from Apurva, whom constantly reminds me that my artwork back then, in Raffles, is filled with passion and a certain interest in it that kept others captivated.

Was it because i came to SG that made me lost all inspirations? or was it something else that is pondering me? i don't know. Honestly, i feel that i suddenly lost the ability to think for myself and to feel the interest that usually make me excited anymore.

i realized that i break down very easily nowadays, be it Assignment-wise or Relation-wise. Not to mention that i have many First in SG, those things that i told myself i would never ever do, i suddenly find myself in it and, awkwardly, feeling nice about it. Also, i suddenly crave the company of my Raffles classmates alot! i would remember the times when we would just randomly scream at each other's face for fun or the infamous hangout place, the canteen. :) those are good times.

i know i haven't been able to update much on my SG life, but it is and will be, i believe an exciting journey, that is awaiting me.

Something to add on, i also crave something else, the feeling of being loved and appreciated. i often feel that i m the one giving and not receiving anything in return, well if u are in love u cant really say if u are in a give and take situation, it is really wrong to say that because it will hurt ur partner, but seriously i do feel that i m in need of some pamper and love that i wasn't given. For my past relationships, i feel that i have been the one giving and giving till an extend that i can't even have my own time and what's more, a sense of my own self. argh..

Well, it's all in the past now, i need to learn to live with new things and embrace new environment. i told myself before that i will make a stand in SG maybe the ground is already hard but i will find some way to crack it and make a hole in it. A hole would be fine.

i should stay together for the sake of my grades and assessments.

Updates

Hello~! Well this blog has been practically dead for a long long time but rest assure that the blogger is still safe and very much alive. It's only that he is so worked up over so many things for the past few months leading up to today!

Oya, seriously considering to rearrange my entire blog to have a new look to it. Most likely i will do a quick update about the things that happened in Singapore. A very fine city indeed. :)

A small hint: there might be a new bloggie up soon. stay tune?

Of YOG and the new life in Singapore

The YOG is here!!! AH!!! am so hype and thrill about it, well basically i am always hype about the Olympic games, especially the openings..haha i am weird..

Though i am not a Singaporean but i am really proud of Singapore, for She, brought the fame and faith that an Asian country, and being nicknamed the Little Red Dot, Singapore, of all countries won the chance to host the

FIRST YOUTH OLYMPICS GAMES!!!!

Imagine the glory and the joy that each and every Singaporean feels when the news kicked in! My godness, yes i am sad that Malaysia was not selected but i am really pleased that the commitee chose Singapore for it. It's a choice well done.

GO SINGAPORE!!

not to mention, i am in Singapore already to continue my studies in Graphic Design. I will update more again in the time to come but i have to watch the Opening now..ciaoz!!^^

I Once Had a Dream...

[I Once Had a Dream...]

That i will be able to publish my own book in the near future.
That i will be as famous as J.K. Rowling.

That i will be a singer in the near future.

That i will be able to stand on stage.

That i will be a succesful person in Life.

That i will be able to find someone to give my undividing attention.
That i am able to find someone i love.
That the person i loved, will love me back as much.

-However, these are all dreams and its back to Reality soon-

时光飞速

不知不觉地，我在公司做了，大约1月半了，有点难以相信。
时光真的是过得太快了！！
哈哈，不是说我不想快点完成Internship，但是我冒冒然却有那种感觉好像

[我的屁股都还没做暖，就要走咯？]

话说来，当我刚进来时，我得确每一天都和Suzen 啊，Emily啊，一样，做到大约8-9点才回家，感觉上就好像Permanent Staff似的，不像Intern。

我的朋友们也问我为什么要天天做得那么夜，
我都是一句说道，‘我是来学习的，有工，我一定要做完才回。’

更好笑的事，有一两次，Ervie和Flo,都会叫我早点回家，别做得太夜。
在这里，虽然工作是忙了些，但是我现在才发现：
原来忙中我真得学了很多！
原来听到顾客喜欢我们的设计，心中还是有些安慰。
原来我是工作狂！！

哈哈。。。

说实话，我真的是病态工作狂，
我可以为了一份工作，不去吃午餐，不回家睡，宁可在公司睡！
你说现在的我是不是病得很严重？
我很难想像我未来会是如何？
会不会和现在一样？还是变本加厉？

啊，不写了，该做工了。。

Rants and What's not

Well, here i am blogging about something at 427pm in the office. Just to show the world that my brain is currently, literally, dead and my stomach is having a mind of its own in a bad way. Toilet breaks anyone??

Not to mention, i have once again fall in love with a particular movie that actually made me tear up everytime i watched it. To date, its 5 times and still counting. This movie is none other than [The Love of Siam]. It's actually a movie about how two boy, who were childhood friends that got separated and then reunited while they are about the age of 16. They fell in love with one another but due to peer pressure and all, one party decided to be frank with the other.

However, this is not why this movie is highly anticipated in many countries that were showed. It is because this movie touches on many aspect of relationships. For example, the love segment, the family segment, the friendship segment and many more. This movie is like a rojak of all these relationships.

As i was telling a close friend the other day, i realised how similar my current situation is to Mew, one of the boys in the show. i won't go further as i don't want to review too much but i really do understand what Mew might felt and it was really not a good feeling to begin with. It's tough but i believed in the end he will get through it, hopefully i will do too.

Gosh, so much ranting..

entry 100525

[放弃了这一个，等待着下一个]

这句话说得好，但是还需要我等待多久？

为什么？

有时我真得很累了，好像好好的休息，有时还想过就那样结束所有。

说得容易，做是很难的。

一个个都是好像在玩似的，为什么我把我的感情放下去呢？

是不是我太天真？

是不是我太傻了？

是不是我不值得去寻找？

到底是为什么呢？！

累了，我真得很累了。

放过我吧。

[Once you given up, why not wait for the Next One to appear?]

this verse has been said over and over, well, undoubtedly it's a good one, but how long more should i be waiting?

why?

i felt i have been asking why so many times that i lost count of it.

why did i put my true feelings in when it seems like each and everyone of them are like playing me out?

why so?

could it be that i am too naive?

could it be that i am stupid?

could it be that i am not worthy of seeking that special One?

WHY?

i am really tired already, please just let go of me.

update in mere minutes.

well, i thought to make up with the absence of myself from the blog line, i would update twice! and so i was damned to keep pressing the HELP button, so sue me for being and idiot with clumsy fingers.

I lost count of the time when i call myself a joker, idiot, a dum-dum, a brat and other craps, but i believe that i have matured over time and everytime when i call myself either of those, i am degrading myself in some way or another. No idea why am i doing that to myself but sometimes i feel that one should be more humble at times and not be a super large Vogue with you as the beautiful model on the cover page and acting cute or vain or whatever suits you.

Life as i recalled has never been better. There are times when i wished that a lightning can just struck me and let me die on the spot when i was sitting by the verandah of my house, or the huge tree might just snapped and a huge branch will whacked me in the head and i am being hospitalised for the rest of my life, well, i am grateful that none of those ever happened but somehow i always felt that if one of those unpleasant things do happen to me, the most i can do is sit and stone for the rest of my ill-fated life.

For i am a buddhist, therefore i do not believe in the concept of an Almighty deep within the sheets of cloud, but sometimes i would like to believe that miracles in many forms do appear. Remembering an experience that came close to embrace the divine would be the time when i was in National Service. Cut things short, the incident was about my prayer book not being drenched wet at all dispite being submerged in the water for a period of time, don't ask me but that is just amazing!

So many things have occured in the past few months before i even updated this place. Many will whine over the countless status updates from me that they received over a course of 2 minutes or an hour, note Ken! I think i should really get a twitter but somehow, twitter is so not my cup of tea, unless someone like Apurva suddenly took charge of my life and snap me out of my trance of the countless updates that spell emo emo emo. Well, come to think of it, it would be fun to have your life paved out in front of you for once and not worry about anything but just stay alive to complete the course of life.

Funny, how things are~

oh my goodness..

Just like what the title implies. Oh My Goodness! It's been soo damn freaking extraordinary long that i last updated my blog, honestly speaking, i started the wonder whether the purpose of this blog is still necessary.

Well enough crap and bullshiting already, there have been many ups and downs in my life so far, i am refering to the event when my dear Indesign crashed and i had to redo a portfolio in less than 7 hours or the time when i almost broke down over the comments that came from my final that might not work, good times huh? You can't deny the existence of these feelings when you realise that it is almost time that you move on in life. Why so you might ask, well this is because, yours truly has finally graduated from Raffles International College in a birthday cake headgear as his graduation suit~! Interesting huh? for those who are interested in the hilarious and funny headgear can look up the 'mukabuku', if you know what that is.

On the other hand, i just come to realise that i am an idiot in the game of pairs. Being a joker in the court of justice could be one thing but being a sole audience in a badly maintained court of love is not really a good omen, i reckon? Hm, somehow i am still missing you badly and wishing that you can reply me or let me know what is going on though. You know who you are~

Oh ya, come april, i will be joining a hunt, anyone interested to join me? feel free to sign up though.

Till then, follow me on my mukabuku is the fastest way to keep track whether i am being hit by a lorry or i just tripped and fell into a lake and unfortunately drown..