$%#@!#$%$%

-i lease my anger and emotions here, in this post, so it will be vulgar and freaking pissed, if you can understand my feelings now,you will know why.-

my kai-jie from NS was planning to visit KL during Xmas but because of her tuition, she decided to stay back and attend her tuition. Well, i told my parents that she be coming to visit so i am not going to Spore with them. So now i am gonna be alone for Xmas and 3 days afterward.

It really SUX!!!!

i am really pissed and want to just hit someone or just wreck the house.
i wanna lose my sanity for a moment and just lease it all out.

i can't accept the fact that you wanted to be just friends!
When u were the one that gave me hope and all!!!

i can't accept the fact that you said that you can't freaking concerntrate on your studies!!
When i did not even bother you during your revision time and exam period!!!!

i can't accept the fact that i can still sat down with you can chatted for 1/2 hour after that!!!
FUCK my idiotic gentleman attitude!!!!!

i have feelings too.
i might not seem to care but i just love you too much!!!

i want to hug you,
i want to be there for you, with you.

i don't want to be just FRIENDS!
i want to be your MAN!!

i loved thrice but this is the only time when i really feel the pain.


i can't freaking stand it anymore!!
i want to abandon my stupid gentleman behaviour!!
i want to just be ME!!!
i want to be demanding!!!
i want to be a SPOILT BRAT now!!!!

but why?
why can't i?!